Spring Cleaning for My Heart

“When you forgive, you heal your own anger and hurt and are able to let love lead again. It’s like spring cleaning for your heart. ” – Marci Shimoff

I am one of those people who holds on tight to a hurt, a slight, a painful experience and won’t let it go.

I don’t mean to be unforgiving. But I’ve often found myself retelling an incident, names removed to protect the guilty, and feeling justified in still resenting, still being critical, still harboring the hurt.

Why?

Why would I do that? It’s not hurting the other person who hurt me. Telling the story, sharing the anger, doesn’t make me feel any better. In fact, it makes me feel angry all over again, resentful all over again.

I think it’s something I need to work on. Forgiving MSH if he forgets to do something I ask him to do. Letting go of the criticism I feel when someone points out improvements I need to make. Taking a pass on reliving frustrations and heartaches from years ago. The list of things I need to let go of is huge.

How much energy is this draining from me every single day?

Would I feel less tired if I used that energy to plant a forgiveness garden? Could I let the heartache or misunderstanding dissipate and disappear through some physical act of letting go? Could I write it down and set a match to it?

Gymnastics for housewives (Photo credit: Nationaal Archief)

I’ve always loved the idea of spring cleaning. A hundred years ago it was a huge process that involved cleaning soot from walls, beating dust and dirt from rugs, sanding tables,  disinfecting dark places, opening windows and finally letting in fresh, healthy air. Disease and infection and vermin thrived if spring cleaning didn’t happen every year.

Could lack of forgiveness be the reason my energies are low, my vibrancy diminished?

Today I’m beginning the physical spring cleaning of my home. Perhaps, I can also begin to purge the emotional and spiritual dust and grime. I’m sure there’s room and need for fresh air and sunshine in a more than a few of my nooks and crannies.

Can I let love lead and heal my heart? Sounds difficult. But then, it must be easier than holding on to all my junk.

Hmmm. Forgiving. Healing. Letting go.

I’ll have to play with that idea today as I organize, dust, vacuum, polish, sweep, scrub and clean.

Wish me luck.