Gratituesday

Taking One Day at a Time

It’s Gratituesday! I’m grateful for time with my best friend today. It felt like a “normal” day, not a month or so away from dying kind of day. We talked like it was any old kind of day, well, except for everything we talked about that isn’t like any other kind of conversation most friends get to have.

good day sunshine

good day sunshine (Photo credit: eye of einstein)

But really, it felt wonderful. It felt almost normal. She had more energy than usual. We were in sync, the world’s machinery ran smoothly for us, we laughed, we dodged crying, we felt like a couple of teenagers getting away with something.

We snuck out of the house and got some early lunch before the germ filled crowds showed up. We went to a matinée movie, sitting in a theater completely empty except for the two of us. The place as bacteria free as a person can get out in public. Her immune system appreciated it. We even talked out loud during the movie which made the day even better. No shushing involved.

I think we must have looked like two old sisters spending time together toddling about town leaning on each other, holding each other up.

I often wonder who is helping who in this relationship. Actually, there’s no wonder involved. I’m pretty certain I’m the one getting helped, being served, feeling loved and learning how to be real.

Yup, today felt great.

I’m thankful for every day I can get in with my bestie.

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Warming Up and Getting In Tune

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful for music of the season.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re thinking, that sounds typical.  Except it isn’t exactly.

Mr Grinch

Mr Grinch (Photo credit: Candie_N (Welcome Fall))

During November I grinched around town. Every store I entered that already had Christmas tunes playing aggravated something in me. I’d secretly vow not to shop there during December since they ignored my personal unwritten rule that Christmas is a December thing. When I couldn’t find an Autumn or Thanksgiving themed wreath two days after Halloween, I swore off another couple stores. Everywhere I went Christmas assaulted me. Cinnamon scented pinecones here, exhortations to buy early and buy often there, and red and green glitter everywhere like a crime scene gone bad.

So on Sunday morning I’m listening to some music online and a Christmas song comes on and immediately my hackles go up, (picture a cat hissing, back arched, teeth bared.) Dang Christmas music, I’m thinking. Can’t they wait until December? Then it’s like I’m hit up side of the head with a baseball bat. Duh! It is December. It’s December 1st.  Helloooooo? Now I can enjoy Christmas music and do all the Christmasy things and enjoy the season.

But I’d curmudgeoned my way through November and couldn’t quite shake off the grouchiness even with it being December.

Bah!

photo-18 copy 26But then, last night, I attended a benefit concert put on by The Red Note Foundation in honor of a wonderful young bassoonist, Kristin Hooker, who lost her life when she was barely twenty years old.  Her love for music and her belief in its ability to change lives resonated throughout the concert. And just like the Grinch, I felt the ice around my grouchy heart begin to thaw and noticed it starting to beat again. In fact, it might have grown a bit in the process of listening to such a gift presented in voice and orchestra.

The Christmas season began for me last night thanks to those heartfelt, sacred soaring melodies.

Secular or silly, sappy or sacred, A cappella or orchestrated, modified lyrics or ancient rhymes, I love it all! The songs of the holidays rate high on my happy list, something I had forgotten, apparently. Now that my internal strings are in tune I’ll enjoy all of it with gusto.

Greenery

Greenery (Photo credit: Sharon Drummond)

Come what may, shopping frenzied crazed drivers, baking disasters, piles of unsent Christmas cards, Christmas trees that topple over, strands of lights that only halfway work, or picture perfect scenes of family bliss gone awry. No matter. I have Christmas beating right here in time with the music in my heart.

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday, Music | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Overflowing

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m more thankful than I’ve felt in ages. In fact, you might be surprised to hear that I fight back tears as I think over the overflowing abundance my life consists of.

Then I wonder if it comes across as bragging or something like it. That’s surely the last thing I want to communicate.

Maybe I worry about that because it’s been a year filled with amazement, miracles, blessings, luck, joy, happiness and most of the good things you could imagine life might hold for a person. It’s been an unusual year.

A normal year for me usually feels like a mountain climb above the tree line without extra oxygen and the food and water nearly gone. Throw in only gray rocks for scenery and a dark ominous sky, then add hundreds of switchbacks and no end in sight to the hardscrabble. Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but like most of you, my life isn’t a walk in the park every day.

Sure, I manage to find the hidden and the obvious good and happy things in a year like that, but that doesn’t negate the daily battle or the toll it exacts on me.

So to have experienced an unprecedented year of abundance in almost every facet of my life stuns me. I’ve included a few photos of recent beauties and wonders that might just barely begin to explain, where my words fall so pitifully short.

I only hope you find your life at least as richly filled with the joys of life as I have this past year.

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Flying High and I’m Feeling Good

English: Crop circles along the Columbia, Wash...

Crop circles along the Columbia, Washington, USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m thankful for air travel. What a miracle to climb aboard an airplane in a cold, rainy, or snowy place and a few hours later find yourself on terra firma with balmy skies and a warm breeze. I never get over the wonder of leaving home at six in the morning and then finding myself standing in Mom’s kitchen at lunchtime. Mom lives almost eight hundred miles away! Is that amazing or what?

I was well into my thirties before I ever flew on a commercial airplane. What a revelation! That sensation at takeoff of being pushed back into your seat as the plane propels itself fast enough to achieve flight never gets old. Every time feels just as exhilarating as the first time I experienced that singular phenomenon.

Landing, too, has its commensurate push forward on landing, but with a kind of sadness that the miracle is over.

I find both much more exciting than a roller coaster ride because at the end you’re somewhere different from when you started.

Agricultural Patchwork

Agricultural Patchwork (Photo credit: matt.hintsa)

As a young child I had the opportunity to ride in a four-seater airplane from the local airport. Up, over and around the city we lived in, I got a glimpse, a bird’s view, of the big tiny world I lived in.  Brushing what I thought was dangerously close to the mountains, my only worry. Everything down below seemed so small, which in turn, made me feel puny and small. Unfortunately, I don’t remember much more about that flight.

Agricultural quilts, in squares and rounds and triangles, never cease to entertain as I’m airborne. Experiencing the Grand Canyon, Mount St. Helen’s, Lake Tahoe, mount Rainer, the Great Lakes, or the Pacific Ocean, from the perspective of thirty thousand feet brings new appreciation for those wonders.

Lake Tahoe from my window seat.

Lake Tahoe from my window seat.

Overcast skies and thick layers of clouds that block such views can disappoint. But then, breaking through and flying above the cloud formations provides entertainment better than any museum or scientific wonder.

If you’ve never had this opportunity, I really hope you get the chance to fly!

What a world we live in! What an age of convenience and luxury and speed. How blessed I feel today as I type this post sitting in a comfy seat on the plane as it’s bouncing a bit in the air turbulence and as I sip my lovely beverage and much on pretzels. The changing landscape of Arizona passes below me and I’m in awe.

Astounding!

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Flexible, Spontaneous or Just Simply Chaotic

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful for a plans and goals and lists. I’m sure that sounds odd to most people.

Windswept

Windswept (Photo credit: Kathrin & Stefan)

You see, I’m not normally a goal setting sort of person. I prefer to be flexible and goals seem to get in the way of that flexibility. I do, however, have a wide assortment of lists, which aren’t quite the same as goals.

I suppose I see plans as a happy medium between goals and lists. It falls right in the middle of inflexible and flexible.

“You can devise all the plans in the world, but if you don’t welcome spontaneity; you will just disappoint yourself.” ~ Abigail Biddinger

I’d have missed out on some of the greatest things in my life if I weren’t willing to let go of plans and goals and just ride the current I found myself in.

Of course, a person can’t always just be all “whatever.” I guess there needs to be a sense of order and control and sanity as a foundation in order to be able to be spontaneous. May be that’s where I fall short and why goals don’t work so well for me, not enough of a foundation of order.

Hmmm.

Well, so far, I’ve managed to get by fairly well with my many lists, my few goals and the plans I make.

I’ve always liked this saying because I think it justifies or proves my somewhat hectic life of flexibility mixed with chaos.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” ~Allan Saunders

I’m always on a quest for balance in my life. If I ever achieve it the planets may cease spinning.

Well at least, I’m fairly certain, I keep God laughing.

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Monkey See, Monkey Do?

It’s Gratituesday ! Today I’m thankful for people who are examples to me. I’m sure they don’t know that’s what they’re doing, but something they do or say or simply who they are acts as a catalyst for me.

When I grow up I want to become like many of these people.

Energizer Bunny

Energizer Bunny (Photo credit: Jeremy Vandel)

One woman I know and want to emulate has the energy level of a pair of two-year olds on caffeine. She just goes and goes and goes. Unstoppable and happy about it, she puts out this vibe that makes people around her feel energized. How she does this remains a mystery. If I could figure out how to do that I’m sure my life would be drastically better.

Unflustered and calm describes another acquaintance of mine. A twinkle resides in her eyes and a bear hug seems to emanate from her. Being in her presence feels like comfort food for the soul. Even when I was a young teenager I wanted to cultivate the qualities I saw in her.

Another woman I know can love unconditionally. No reservations get in the way of her generous nature and bottomless willingness to give. She’s open and willing to share however and when she can.

A negative or sarcastic thought never crosses the mind of one friend I know. He isn’t naïve, no way, but there’s this purity of vision in how he sees people and the world. He sees the best in others and anticipates success. Discouragement rarely if ever crosses his path.

Open, direct and honest almost to a fault, another acquaintance has taught me to open my mouth more often. Attempting communication with people seems risky but she throws caution out the window and talks anyway. No topic is forbidden. Better to try than to hover in a corner feeling lonely or misunderstood. Gutsy!

Puzzle piece

Honestly, I think I learn a bit of something copy worthy from almost everyone I know. From the person who is quick to smile to the tender-hearted quick to cry, from the chatty to the nearly silent, I see qualities to emulate in them all.

It’s more than nice to have so many role models for different aspects of my life. How else will I figure out this becoming a good human thing. The examples of so many continue to help me figure out who I am and how I fit into life’s puzzle.

If I know you personally, thank YOU for the example you set for me. The bar I’m reaching for hangs pretty high!

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Looking Back Instead of Forward

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful that the past is behind me. I’m glad to look back and glean what lessons I can from the life I’ve experienced thus far. There’s some doozies. There’s more than a few embarrassing if not downright shameful tales. There’s some hold my head  high “I done good” moments. Mostly, there’s me slogging through, mud stained, sweaty, not very pretty, grimacing, trying to smile, just trying to “get ‘er done.”

English: Muddy Hit

I’m not one of those people who would want to know what’s on the agenda for the future. I think I’d run screaming off the edge of the planet if I knew what’s coming.

Oh, sure, I’m certain there’s some happy times ahead. I’ve great faith in the goodness of many people. The technologic expansion and promise bodes well. But I’m a realist and I know not all is well and not all will be well. There’s crap out there among the good stuff. Always has been, always will be.

Looking back at what I’ve experienced over the past few decades I’m pretty certain that if given the choice ahead of time, with a clear view of those particular things laid out before me, I’d have probably declined the offer to move ahead.

Sure, youth think they are invincible. They envision the future as glorious and beautiful, hopeful and amazing. The don’t imagine failure, or trial or difficulty. There’s a vague cloud of the unknown but no real grasp of what death or disease, unemployment or uncertainty, debt and demands, sleeplessness and exhaustion, mental illness and poor decisions, good intentions with bad outcomes, or any one of thousands of reality’s hard knocks. It’s probably best that way.

Being jaded and angry is no way to approach a life at the beginning of it.

In fact, being jaded and angry is no way to live a life at all.

I had a year or two of that and it was not pretty.

Now I aim for grateful as much as I can. I try being honest with myself and not simply look at the world through those fabled rose-colored glasses. I honestly search for the good, the positive, the blessed moments, the glorious parts of life.

Syringe 5 with drops.

It’s not a denial of the bad stuff, more of an inoculation against it. I like to think I’m vaccinated and up to date on my shots so when the virus of hardship invades, which it surely will, I’ll be able to get through it. My faith, my hope, my cheerfulness, my experience,  will win out.

Better to learn from what’s thrown at you. Knowing when to duck, when to roll, when to tuck, when to jump, when to charge ahead, only comes from the experience of having to do those things. Practice makes perfect, is the saying, isn’t it?

I should be nearly perfect by now.

No. Never mind. I didn’t say that. I know there’s a ton of experiences in life I haven’t had the pleasure or pain of going through. I don’t want to tempt fate. Got my hands full, thankyouverymuch.

Today I’m glad to stand where I am, looking back on the path I’ve been on, happy for the temporary level spot in the path.

What a view!

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What a Bunch of Nonsense!

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful for silliness and nonsense. Yes, you read that correctly.  From seated bleacher “dancing” at the local High School football game, (that band rocks it!) to one liners and zingers on Facebook, from tickling to hot pink sparkly toenails on a woman over a certain age, from nonsensical YouTube video featuring llamas or dancing cats to old cartoons and sitcoms from the dark ages. Whatever the reason for a short break from life’s daily serious menu, I willingly embrace it.

minionsI’m lucky to know friends who’ll scream and giggle like teenagers in spite of being several decades older than the giggly screamer age. Fortunately I also know some quick-witted people who can go toe to toe with me with jokes and nonsense and movie quotes. Happily when our family gets together laughs and guffaws outweigh tension and discord fifty to one.

Life’s full of serious business, contemplative moments, heartache and worry.  I used to scare away potential friends with the weight of the world sitting solidly on my shoulder for all to see.  Laughter didn’t fit in with my earnest desires to make the most of my time on the planet. And then, someone taught me by example years ago that silliness didn’t take anything away from life’s solemnity. In fact, I saw and began to experience the load lightening magic of nonsense, laughter and silliness.

photo-19 copy 9Like downing a huge glass of ice water in the middle of a hot and sweaty task, silliness refreshes and refills and rejuvenates.

Too much of any good thing will cause more harm than good. All silliness and nonsense makes life a shallow pointless effort. Finding a good ratio between “LOL” (laughing out loud) and putting one’s “shoulder to the wheel” might make all the difference in my success at the hard work side of life.

If you happen to see a woman in a little truck doing some car dancing or belting out a tune like she’s some rockstar, it might just be me, taking a silliness break before heading back to my rock and my hard place.

Turn off your serious button and laugh a little. It’ll do you good. Click on these short links.

What is this Car Dancing she talks about?

Who said Cat’s can’t dance?

Okay, maybe llama’s are funny.

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That Tiny Button Makes All the Difference

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m thankful for the lowly belly button. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that little dimpled spot smack dab in the middle of my tummy.

Just like most buttons, the belly button serves as a connection. Or at least it did at one time. A most important point of contact, that little juncture provided all the nourishment necessary to grow a baby. And amazingly, once that connection disconnects, the baby continues to grow, although nourished and fed through varied and different means than the womb provided.

I’m astounded time and again by newborns. They arrive equipped with all the necessary components to become a full-grown adult. Everything just starts out in miniature form. I look at my six-foot something son and wonder at that miraculous transformation. He started out at a mere eight pounds and now he’s this dude, man, guy, adult who continues to amaze me with all he can do. If I hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t believe it now that I once had a part in his creation. He’s simply the tallest of my children and so elicits the most wonder at the transformation. Each of my kids sports a belly button, witness to our once most intimate and cherished relationship.

Have you ever seen a cuter belly button?

Have you ever seen a cuter belly button?

That first week or so of a baby’s life falls under the surreal category. Watching that bit of umbilical cord shrivel and shrink and eventually disconnect feels almost sacred and bittersweet. Does that seem like a strange thing to say? I find it amazing that instead of some ugly, odd scar left behind, there is instead a dimpled little pocket or a small mound, an Innie or an Outie. A reminder of one’s origins, once a literal link to the metaphorical mother ship.

I like to think the belly button is an homage to those who birthed us. Mother or birth-mother, there existed once, a primal connection. And there remains a reminder of that most precious of bonds, a token of the ultimate life force.

Does yours collect lint? Or do you keep it pristine and polished? Have you added a sparkle of jewelry to it? Do you ever consider the lowly little navel at all? I don’t very often. Since a newborn joined our flock recently I’ve thought of the reason and meaning of the belly button more often.

I laugh at that sweet, funny mark of humanity.

I marvel at the circular wonder of it all.

Categories: Family, Gratitude, Gratituesday, parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pivotal

It’s Gratituesday. I’m thankful for those pivotal moments in my life that have made all the difference. One in particular comes to mind today. Oddly, I don’t remember the person’s name who played such a starring role.

On a slightly overcast day nearly twenty years ago, I had just arrived at an outdoor “retreat” of sorts. Nervous and uncertain about what to expect, I stashed my luggage and showed up for the keynote speaker. Walking across a wide expanse of mowed meadow, I felt a slight hint of rain. Looking up at the clouds I wondered how the week would change if it rained instead of shined.

I soon found out.

Sweet, sugary Brach's lemon drops. Made with r...

Brach’s lemon drops, made with real lemon juice! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By the time all the participants unloaded luggage and found their way to the lodge where the keynote speaker would soon begin, the rain made itself part of the proceedings. People entered first with slightly wet heads and wiping raindrops from eyeglasses. Those who arrived a few minutes later looked disheveled, wet and somewhat wary.

The first thing the speaker said was, “Everybody stand up! Yes, everybody, even you all in the back rows.”

She waited. A few stragglers seemed reluctant to stand at which she pronounced, “The correct answer when someone asks you to do something is, ‘I’m excited about this idea!’” She smiled a big smile for a short person and said, “Let’s try again. Everybody stand up!”

Nearly everyone in the damp smelling room responded in a lackluster voice, “I’m excited about this idea.”

She laughed.

“I think we need a change of direction. Sing along if you know this one.” She then proceeded to belt out an energetic rendition that went like this.

“I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, I’m happy again…”

A few brave souls joined her part way through. As they did so a clap of thunder rolled across the hills outside at which a few people moaned, and a couple of people clapped. There was even a cheer or two.

When they finished singing she looked the group over and laughed again. “What was that phrase I said we should respond with?  ‘I’m excited about this idea!’”

She put her hand to her ear as she said, “Everyone sing along with me!”

“I’m excited about this idea,” the group responded.

“I can’t hear you,” she said.

“I’m EXCITED about this idea!” we all yelled back.

Then we all belted out the first few phrases of “Singing in the Rain.”

Glowing gumdrops.

Glowing gumdrops. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For good measure we did another song with actions, of sorts.  Arms spread as if welcoming a rainstorm, head back and mouth opened wide during the “ah, ah, ah” part of the song, we sang:

“If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops, oh what a rain it would be…I’d stand outside with my mouth open wide, ah, ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah. If all the raindrops were lemon drop and gum drops oh what a rain it would be.”

I don’t remember anything more specific about that speaker, not even her name.

I’m not sure what she said. But something clicked in me. Something sparked. Some cog turned that set in motion a churning machine of interconnected wheels, chain reactions, window opening, door crashing changes.

Maybe her joyful manner, her laughter, her energy overpowering even a thunderstorm affected me. Maybe the twinkle in her eyes or the bounce in her step brought some unspoken message that only I heard.

I felt it though. I felt different. From that moment, I began to chang from a cowering, shy uncertain afraid-of-her-own-shadow ghost of myself into a full-blown, somewhat bodacious, speak my mind, belt it out loud, say what I think semi-brave woman of substance.

No, all those changes weren’t instantaneous. More like a set of dominoes aligned in an elaborate design where the little rectangles rose on steps, circled and swirled in intricate paths, I too, unconsciously began my own domino effect of growth and change.

Maybe this woman’s words or actions or attitude figuratively poured water on a seed that lay dormant under a dirt and trash covered patch of ground in me. Someone else may have laid the seed in the ground and then years later, time and opportunity and, maybe the rain that day became the catalysts. Whatever happened was pivotal.

English: Screenshot of Judy Garland performing...

Judy Garland performing Over the Rainbow for the film The Wizard of Oz. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Like Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz”, my life changed from black and white to brilliant Technicolor. I became excited about this idea, and excited about that idea. Left and right I saw positives around nearly every corner.

It rained that entire week. In fact it rained so long and hard that some small trickling streams became raging rivers. Thunderstorms kept us awake nights. Schedules changed and rearranged. My feet never felt dry.

But me, inside, I felt newly born in the deluge.

I ran into this woman briefly, several years later, somewhere random, and had just a moment or two to tell her, “You changed my life with a presentation you gave a few years ago.” She looked at me, confused, without a clue who I was or what she’d said or done.

“Just know,” I said as the crowd whisked me away, “that you made a huge difference in someone’s life. Thank you!”

Yup. Pivotal. Turned my life around one hundred eighty degrees.

Lucky me.

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday, Happiness | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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