Friday Letter to My Kids – May 2018.
Dear J, J, L and L,
Surprise! I don’t have an actual bucket list.
Photo by hitesh choudhary on Pexels.com
Hopes and dreams, definitely. Mostly the sort left unspoken. Something about saying a wish out loud takes away its power, I suppose. Call me superstitious, or weird.
There has been this one very strong desire. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much I personally could do to make that happen. That’s an ongoing theme in my life. But in this case the wish, the dream, the desire, was truly out of my control. All I could do was watch, for the most part.
Of Seeds and Seedlings
I planted a few seeds here and there and waited to see what would happen. I did what was in my power to help those seeds grow, watering, weeding, a bit of fertilizer.
From when you were little, I let you know that I thought going to college and getting a degree was really, really, really important. As you got older, and as life unfolded the raggedy, unpredictable way life does, the importance of a college education became even clearer and stronger in my mind. Without nagging, I hope, I reminded you from time to time how critical that was.
Implicit in that was that you’d get decent grades in high school and graduate. I celebrated those high school graduations with pride and tears.
Just a A Few Years Later… In the Eternal Scheme of Things
And now, nineteen years after the first of you graduated from high school, all four of you have Bachelor’s Degrees.
That one sentence doesn’t say enough. It makes it sound magical and simple, which I know it wasn’t. Those degrees you’ve earned have arrived after tears, and heartache, sweat, late nights, all-nighters, dozens of different occupations, roommates, spouses, children, worry, debt, stops, starts, u-turns, illnesses, battles, winding roads, weddings, a divorce, unexpected detours, and plenty of life’s storms. Each one of you pushed through whatever obstacles came your way and you kept trying, kept working, kept keeping on.
I’ll bet you never knew you were making one of my dreams come true.
The degree isn’t simply for me to brag about, or for you to have some piece of paper to hang on the wall. The college degree has always been about the doors it can open for you, the opportunities it can make available and the freedom it can potentially provide. It can save you from a lifetime of back-breaking physical work. It can give you peace of mind and a fallback position. That’s what I really wanted for you. Now that you have those degrees, your own dreams are more within reach.
This is the Part Where Words Fall Short
I’m so happy for each of you, and so incredibly proud of you.
Now my only dream for you is that you find happiness and joy in whatever lies ahead. I’m pretty sure you’ll do just fine.
All my love,
Mom
Bluebird of Happymess
““`
“Life is a one time offer, use it well.”
I used to be awake before the birds or the worms. Before the sun even thought about showing its face I was up and going full speed ahead. I’d be typing away on my keyboard, or climbing onto the saddle of my bicycle, or out doing yard work long before most people rolled over to slam the snooze button for the first time.
This year has been different, seriously. The sun sets at some dumb hour like five-thirty when it used to set at seven. And mornings take an eternity to arrive. I just don’t understand.
I know you have each faced down some hard things in life, even as young as you are. I know the road has been broken and has worn down countless pairs of shoes for some of you. I know you’ve felt swallowed up and beaten down. I would take and carry it away from you if I could. But motherhood has its limitations.
I pray you taste as many as you can, as often as you can. I hope you love, often and deeply, and with wild abandon. I hope you occasionally have the chance to sit under the tree and savor the smells and sounds.
My message from the universe looked like HTML code. And it said one word I understood: “The”. How weird is that? Unfortunately, that message also went out to all my blog readers as well. They probably figured my blog had been hacked. In fact, one of my daughters asked if it had been hacked, which is how I found the message the universe sent me.
Woke up long before the sun kissed the horizon today and planned a quick six or eight mile ride to round out the weeks mileage to at least forty. I was on the trail hoping to avoid crowds. A gloriously cool morning after a 100 degree day yesterday, I reveled in my freedom and the glow of the sunrise. I was making good time, for me, and enjoying every minute of it.
A few years back the rainfly became a congealed mass of guck. I think it spent a month too long in the back of the truck on an extended road trip and the heat did a number on its chemistry. The manufacturer no longer made that tent or rainfly (imagine that after 27 years) so we didn’t haven a replacement.
We have a family friend or two who drops in from time to time. They see our home as a safe place to land, or a spot to score a slice of bread, which really means a slice of caring and a listening ear. Once, on sitting down at the kitchen bar to some fresh homemade bread and strawberry jam, one of these friends said something about finding sanctuary in our home.
Another quote by tiny but powerful Mother Teresa says, “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”
Kami's Beautiful Morning 