Posts Tagged With: joy

Counterpoise

English: spider web with fog droplets, San Fra...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s Gratituesday! Today I am grateful beyond thankfulness. I’ve become like a sponge, saturated beyond holding another single drop. I don’t say this in a bragging way, certainly not. No. I say it with amazement and wonder and awe and tears. If I had been told a few short years ago that I could feel such joy I would have laughed, scoffed and denied the silly notion.

Why such unrestrained, ridiculous gratitude?

  • The absolute happiness on my son’s face with his new bride.
  • The smile beaming on my daughter’s face with her CSU cap and gown.
  • The shine of love in that same daughter’s eyes.
  • A pregnancy glow in another daughter.
  • Another wedding in a just a couple of months.
  • Being surrounded by family, extended family, friends, and love.

This seems like more than any one person deserves or should have in one short period. I kind of see it as a counterbalance to a few years ago when my pendulum swung wide and far from gratitude. Maybe it’s a reminder that life isn’t always about the bad stuff, which I believed for such a very long time.

My kids deserve it. They’ve worked hard to get to where they are, to have earned such happiness. Where they are now has very little to do with me. What they have now has everything to do with their  own determination, desires, sweat, experience and even redirection.

Does a word exist that describes this pendulum swing, counterbalance, this overabundant, joy-filled time?

Sure the word is…

Counterpoise.

Sounds delicate, doesn’t it?

It is. Fragile, tenuous, weblike, lacy, barely there.

But, oh so stunning.

Take it in, breathe deeply, enjoy.

Then remember, remember, remember.

Remember.

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday, Joy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Riding the Killer Waves

In her book “The Year of PleasuresElizabeth Berg writes of a woman who loses her husband to cancer. The book focuses mainly on her life after his death. She touches tentatively on the time after his diagnosis, their brief months shared before she became a widow. This quote summed it up for me:

“It seemed to me that this was the way we all lived: full to the brim with gratitude and joy one day, wrecked on the rocks the next. Finding the balance between the two was the art and the salvation.”

English: Breaking Waves, Rocks of Garheugh

When I first read this book quite some time ago I found a much different message than the one I see with the eyes I have now. Now my best friend is battling Multiple Myeloma. You can read about attempting to Laugh at Death here.

Is there balance in a life approaching its expiration date too soon?

Can balance exist in a life with an unknown, far distance expiration date?

Ms. Berg is right. At least, it feels true. We all live this way. Well, maybe not all of us. Maybe just me. And anyone who has cancer or loves someone who has cancer. Particularly if that cancer can’t be cured.

Finding a balance between gratitude and wrecked? Between full to the brim and smashed to smithereens on the rocks of despair? It just seems impossible some days.

Maybe it isn’t finding the balance, but in trying to find the balance that something happens. After all, it’s “the art and the salvation.”

Do I even know what I’m talking about or am I just flailing about looking for answers?

You’re right.

Here’s additional advice from Ms. Berg’s beautiful novel. It’s from the dying husband to the wife who will try to go on living after he’s gone:

“Don’t get too hungry, too tired or too sad.”

That’s good advice for anyone in any situation. It’s particularly great advice if you’re in mourning, or anticipating the unknown yet certain pain of loss through death.

I’m not sure it’s possible to control being “too sad” or even “too tired” when death takes its scythe to someone we love. I wonder if there really is such a thing as “too sad”?

My life is currently incredibly blessed. I’m almost embarrassed by the richness of the plate set before me; “full to the brim with gratitude and joy” very aptly describes now.  Makes me a bit nervous, to tell you the truth.

English: Breaking waves at the beach of Cerca ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At the same time I am riding the waves aimed for wretched rocks as I write. There is no getting off this particular wave. Cancer and death will take what they have battled long for. And I will be left empty in spite of all the brimming cups of joy and gratitude that lay in my path and swirl in the very air I breathe. And then what?

Then what?

I can’t imagine the next thing.

I suppose I will try to not get too hungry, too tired or too sad and I will try to find a new fulcrum from which to attempt a balance between wretched and grateful.

Until I have to try that particular new something I will revel in every moment given me.

Call me dramatic. Call me pessimistic. Call me Pollyanna. Call me anything.

I won’t hear you.

I’ll be busy trying.

Lonely Woman Watching Sea Waves on Beach

(Photo credit: epSos.de)

Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full? You tell me. I’m in over my head.

(The Daily Post at WordPress.com: The Glass)

Categories: Death, Gratitude | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Best Wrinkle Cure Ever!

“Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
”

anti botox brigade

‘Nuff said.

Categories: Humor, Mental Health | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My ABC’s of Gratitude

Authors. What would I do without all those books they write?

BIRDS… my favorite morning musicians.

alphabet

(Photo credit: Jim Davies)

Color. Can you imagine living in a black and white world? Or missing even one color? Imagine no reds. Bizarre.

Dancing. It’s a big reason I fell in love with MSH. He’s good at it and makes me feel all dizzy and ditzy and graceful.

Erasers. Do overs. The chance to try again when I mess up. Most of the time, life is full of second chances, and thirds, and fourths. And luckily, I’m surrounded by patient people.

Friends of all flavors and styles. They have gotten me through some sticky situations, made me laugh and kept it real.

Gardening, another way I manage to stay in touch with nature, feel self- sufficient, de-stress and marvel at life’s miracles.

UWM alphabet

(Photo credit: 2fs)

H

Home. The one place I most want to be. It’s where I feel safe, known, cared for and accepted no matter how unreasonable I get.

Ice cream or frozen custard or gelato. I’m an equal opportunity frozen dessert imbiber. One of the pure delights of life when I was a child and still delectable as an adult.

Immediately I think of my two oldest kids, whose names start with J.  There is true JOY.

That’s the first letter of my name, one I’ve always been proud of for its quirkiness, its double meaning, and its spelling. The word Kami in Japanese is 神 which means diety, God, Spirit or even force of nature. Powerful! I like it!

Alphabet Blocks

(Photo credit: PMillera4)

My other two kids names start with L. Ah, sweet Love. And MSH’s name starts with L, too.

Music, music, music. Every kind, loud or soft, kicky or lulling. Life without tunes is gray and stark.

Nature is my balm and cure, my link to sanity. Time spent outdoors will bring me more peace in less time than almost anything else I can do.

O

Oklahoma. I lived there almost five years The weather was a bit scary at times. I wasn’t a fan of the tornado warnings, but the people made up for it. They’re some of the nicest I’ve ever known. Made me feel like family.

Parents, mine specifically. Were they ever patient and long-suffering. They never gave up hope, at least not that I know of. Lucky me, lucky siblings, too.

Quiet time. Solitude. Opportunities for my mind to wander and for clarity to settle in.

Alphabet

(Photo credit: Khalid’s Work)

R

Relatives. Yup. That big spreading family bush, as a friend of one of my kids called it after visiting a family reunion. In-laws, parents, cousins, crazies, sisters, grandparents, nephews, brothers, uncles, nieces, grandbabies, seconds, twice removeds, the uncertains. What a party!

S

Smiles. I especially appreciate those shared smiles, similar to inside jokes or you-had-to-be-there-moments. Those smiles remind me I’m not alone, that someone “gets me” and that they understand my quirkiness and worries.

T

Time with my best friend. No telling how much of it there is left, so every minute, every day, feels like grace and mercy and hope rolled into one.

U

United States is my homeland. Call me dorky or naïve. But people keep wanting to be here, in spite of all the nonsense. We’ve got it pretty dang good and I feel blessed to be a US Citizen.

Alphabet

(Photo credit: james.swenson13)

Volunteering, serving, sharing, caring, paying it forward. It’s all the same package that gives back more than I put into it. Puts a song in my heart and puts my own life in perspective.

Words. Words are my favorite artistic medium, whether in writing or reading or talking or listening. Words rule!

X 

When treasure hunting, X marks the spot where the good stuff is hiding. My life’s map is dotted with intangible, priceless treasure.

Y

Yard. I have a yard, a space for gardening, trees, a patio table and chairs, a patch of grass and some privacy outdoors. If I want to wander out back in my PJ’s in the morning, no worries.

Zany, silly, nonsensical behavior, coupled with a few good belly laughs, makes nearly every day an adventure and a joy.

Categories: Gratitude, Joy, Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Tiny Wisp of Hope for the Day

feather

(Photo credit: matthewvenn)

“Hope is an unbearably precious thing, worth its weight in feathers. If that’s too much to think about, best to tuck it in a pocket anyway, and make it a habit.” – Barbara Kingsolver, from “High Tide in Tucson, Essays from Now or Never”

Feather

 (Photo credit: gemsling)

 

Categories: Mental Health | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Emotionally Hydrated in a Dry Heat

Call me strange.

Not quite the epic beginning as Moby Dick’s “Call me Ishmael.” But it will do.

No I’m not starting a novel, don’t worry. I just find myself reviewing my life lately. Which is something I usually avoid religiously, especially if I’m a bit overtired.

What I stumbled on in my revelry and self-scoriation was this bit of wisdom and light:

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22

Those fifteen words, strung together in the specific order they’re in, have made a world of difference for me.

medicine?

(Photo credit: Brenda Anderson)

I took life so seriously, for so many years. I didn’t see much room for laughter or joking, for silliness or play. And then a series of people taught me without even trying, that there needs to be, and can be, joy amid the sorrow and laughter even when the world is pressing in.

Some days I think the only thing that gets me through is the ability to smile in spite of it all.

And some days seem filled to the brim with joy and laughter.

Stumbling on the idea of intentional happiness as a daily balm, a kind of lotion for my soul, has made all the difference.

I choose to see the positive. At least I try to.

Call me strange.

Categories: Humor, Joy, Mental Health | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Simply Celebrating Life

It’s Gratituesday!  Today I am thankful for my childhood holidays.  Those special days scattered throughout the year were  anticipated with a tingly, buzz in the air.  Each holiday carried a specific scent and texture that brought joy in its own unique way.  There was an innocence and wonder about each celebration.

childhood memories

childhood memories (Photo credit: brainblogger)

That purity of that experience is two-fold.  Childhood is supposed to be about immediacy, the here and now.  There’s no worrying about a hundred things to do before an event happens.  The countdown to Christmas was all about anticipation and expectation. That’s what I had, the joy of the moment.  What a phenomenal blessing!

Simplicity is the other half of my childhood holiday memories.  Perhaps it was a simpler time.  Maybe I grew up sheltered. Hallelujah!  Every child should be so lucky to live, for a time, in a protective bubble of wonder, curiosity, love and newness.  I had that.

I was blessed beyond measure with Valentine love, Easter hope, Independence Day freedom, Halloween sweets, Thanksgiving gratitude, Christmas joy.

Every child should be so lucky!

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I Have Never

Grand Canyon, Arizona. The canyon, created by ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have never been to Disneyland, or Disneyworld.  I have been inside the Disney store at the mall.

I have never visited the Grand Canyon in the fifteen years we’ve lived in Arizona.  I saw it when I was thirteen and not yet afraid of heights.  I wrote poetry about it, even.

I have never jumped out of an airplane and never intend to.

I have never ridden in a hot air balloon.  Not so sure I want to do that. Although it looks peaceful, the height thing might get to me.

I have never traveled outside of the United States.  Unless you count British Columbia on a day trip.  I guess you could, it’s Canada, after all, right?  You’d think I’d have made it to Mexico by now, but haven’t had much reason, money or desire to do that.

I have never been overseas either.  That’d be cool.  I’ll have to start a bucket list, maybe.

I have never met anyone really famous.  That’s okay by me. They’re just like every other person except a bunch of people know who they are, right? Yeah, sour grapes here.

I have never been to a big rock concert.  This holds some interest in the back of my mind, but not enough to really do anything about it.

I have never successfully ridden a skateboard.  Tried once, landed on my backside.  Snowboarding, I suspect would end up the same way but with more dire consequences.

I have never spent more than three seconds upright behind a boat trying to water ski.

I have never had a conversation in a foreign language.  I’d like to change that.

I have never gone cliff diving, or cliff jumping.  There’s that afraid of heights thing again.

On the other hand…

I have spent a night in the wilderness alone.

I have gone rock climbing at five months pregnant.

I have experienced the joy of skiing many times.

I have watched a grandchild being born.

I have known the love of a kind husband.

I have reveled in the beauty that is Alaska.

I have been part of friendships that lifted me and helped make me whole.

I have enjoyed the blessing of extended family reaching out in many directions.

I have had the once in a lifetime amazement of being on a cruise ship on the ocean.

I have kayaked in the ocean.

I have been involved in something bigger than myself.

I have firsthand seen the wonders of Yellowstone Park multiple times.

I have lived in many different places in the United States and found all sorts of wonderful.

I have driven a snowmobile, and a motorcycle.

I have ridden my bicycle long distances, even conquered a pretty big hill a few times.

I have given birth and held those miracles in my arms and watched them become adults.

I have felt the exhilaration of a second wind that comes when running past exhaustion.

I have felt satisfaction, holiness, peace, joy, serenity, contentment.

I have been changed by some experiences that are unspeakable, unshareable.

I have tried to be true to myself, honest with others, kind, helpful, real.

I think the “haves“ outweigh the “have nevers”.

Categories: Gratitude, Joy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Smile, and the World Smiles With You

I’m not sure when it happened but I adopted a coping skill that is best described by a quote from a famous American humorist and writer.

“If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it “– Erma Bombeck

I’m not sure why I started laughing, or creating a joke in stressful situations.  I didn’t decide I was going to do it.  I didn’t read about it as a way to alleviate tension or anxiety.  There was no epiphany where I suddenly saw humor as a temporary solution to contention.  It just happened.  Like jumping at a sudden loud sound, this was reflexive. When a friend pointed out to me that I had this ability to defuse a situation with humor, it surprised me.

I just don’t deal with anger very well, mine or others’.  Tears I can handle.  But anger unmoors me and sets me adrift.  I want to run from the room if someone is angry or mean or bitter.  I don’t like the taste or texture of anger.

I’m not much of a comedian. I might not be able to neutralize a bad scene for others, but I can alleviate my own internal reaction to what’s going on around me.

Sure, laughter isn’t going to bring us world peace, smiling might not cure hunger, being happy may not rid the earth of heartache.  But, I’ve found that looking on the shinier side of things, having a hopeful point of view is easier than the other options and makes the tough stuff more bearable.

Here are some great quotes on humor, laughter and smiling that say more than I ever could on the subject.  That’s why they’re quotable.  Enjoy.

Dealing with Life’s Difficulties

There is a proverb that says, “ A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

 “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” -Yiddish Proverb

“The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.”  -William Shakespeare, Othello

“Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it. “ -Unknown

Humor can improve your life in many ways:

“A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.”  -Charles Gordy

“Laughter is inner jogging.”- unknown

”Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”  -Victor Hugo

It can sometimes forge or improve relationships

English: Danish American comedian Victor Borge...

Danish American comedian Victor Borge, in 1990 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“A smile is a curve that can set everything straight.” – Phyllis Diller

”Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. “-Victor Borge

“Everyone smiles in the same language.” – unknown

I hope you find a reason to smile, or laugh today.  If you have read a great article, blog, joke or story, or have seen a video or photo that makes you laugh, please share!

Categories: Humor, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Now That’s Surprising! It’s Gratituesday!

folded.

Folded Towels. (Photo credit: Greg Timm)

It’s Gratituesday!  Today I am thankful for surprises.

Some surprises are as simple as finding the dishwasher already emptied and ready for the next load, or a pile of laundry folded by someone other than myself. Receiving a real, handwritten letter or card in the mail brings pleasure that lasts. Volunteer flowers in my garden charm me; an unexpected hummingbird hovering a couple of feet away can change the tone of a day.  A repair costing much less than quoted or finding an item I need on sale, nice!  Hearing a honk and getting a wave as a friend drives by gets my giggle on. Something like finding some crinkly money in a jacket pocket from last year is rare, but so fun. And, what a smile I get when I find just the right amount of change in the car to splurge on a soda.Silly, huh?  Not really.  It’s those tiny thrills and small enchantments that add spice, flavor and joy to my life.

“Let’s try an Experiment,” I said to myself

A bunch of years ago, I started an experiment.  I started writing down a few things, every night before turning out the light, that made me smile, that blessed my life or that brought some happiness to the day.

Some days, many days at first, required some deep thinking to get even three items on the list.  Other days I couldn’t stop writing at just five or seven happy things.

What a difference it made for me.  I started looking during the day for those few things I could list in my notebook that evening.  I made a mental note of the rabbits in the field next to the stoplight.  I paid attention when my daughter hugged me extra tight.  I remembered when my son took the garbage out without being asked.

Here’s a sample list:

  • Clean Sheets.
  • The sound of the wind.
  • Hearing my children’s laughter.
  • A kiss.
  • Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
  • A cold glass of milk.
  • Time for reading.

Sure, some days I felt deflated and defeated.  On those days, defaulting to the basics was the best I could come up with; my health, my family, a place to live, adequate food.  Life hasn’t been all roses, not at all, just the opposite, in fact.  There’s some rough terrain out there if I look back at the path I’ve taken.

Most days, though, I made an effort to be grateful, to be aware, to let the little happinesses get through to me.  I slowed down just enough to be in the moment and take joy in it.  Then I’d make my list that night, short or long, without fail.

For me, writing down those happy things made an impact.  Writing made those blessings last, in my head, and on paper, tweaking something in me and shifting my thinking. Being grateful changed me for the better. What a nice surprise.

Am I ever thankful for that!

            *****

For ideas about starting your own Happy Book or Gratitude Journal click here.

Harvard Medical School published an article about the health benefits of gratitude.  Click here to read it.

A great recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookie nirvana is waiting for you to click this. (You’re on your own with the cold glass of milk.  I prefer 1%, though an occasional, rare, splurge on whole milk is divine.)

Categories: Gratituesday, Joy | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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