Posts Tagged With: laughter

The Fluff and Fill of Life

The late afternoon sun hangs just above the tops of the trees as I sit on the front porch.   Pots and hanging baskets filled with Impatiens and petunias need watering, but I’m ignoring that for now. The air is just beginning to cool from the warmth of the afternoon.  A short break, sitting quietly out on the porch, is just what I need before the evening chores, kid’s baths and bedtime rituals begin.

I close my eyes and let my head lie back against the chair. A few stolen moments of deep breathing will be as good or better than a nap. I can feel the buzz of the day’s busy-ness still in my head, a kind of hum of steady movement through a list too long.  The sound of children playing far in the distance lends itself to a slowly spreading sense of calm. A car drives past on the next street over. Birds question each other with chirps and tweets. The neighbor’s dog tosses out a bark. I can feel myself slipping toward sleep. No worries if I do, it won’t last long.

“Mom?”

I can hear the call inside the house somewhere, probably in a back bedroom. I keep my eyes closed, keep my breathing quiet and steady. Maybe the sound will find a different outlet. I inhale deeper, let the breath out slowly.

Even though I can hear laughter, it seems as if it’s simply part of a semi-waking, half-dozing dream. When the screen door beside me protests with its squeaking and rattling, I open my eyes just slightly. I do not, however, turn my head, or speak, or move.

My two little girls stand in the doorway, the tallest of the two holding the door open. They look at each other and cover their mouths to stifle their giggles. They whisper something back and forth to each other. The screen door creaks slowly shut, the latch just catching.

I wonder sleepily what the giggling means, and peer carefully through my lashes.

My two girls hunch down at the sidewalk beside the mailbox picking dandelions from the lawn. I could expect to find a bouquet in my lap any minute now. My youngest stands with her small scrunched cluster of yellow flowers and white puff-balls. She puts her face into the bouquet, but instead of inhaling their muzzley smell, she puffs her cheeks out and blows. She watches as her little handful of treasures explodes into small white umbrellas, tiny seed pod passengers dangling below.

dandelion_2008041638

dandelion_2008041638 (Photo credit: 邪恶的正太)

My older daughter quickly follows with a breath of air and a sort of magic wand wave of the bundle of white and yellow. White wisps float away. They both laugh and each quickly gathers another handful, this time ignoring the plain yellow dandelions. They snap only the stems of white fluff. Instead of blowing on the whole handful at once, they each take a turn blowing the seed pods free from one stem at a time. From a distance a passerby would think they were blowing bubbles from a plastic jar of soapy solution.

Empty stems fall on the sidewalk as they stoop to pick more. One sends her flower heads skyward while the other chases, jumping and flailing. Their laughter bubbles over, a refreshing sound to my ears, a nice respite from their usual bickering.

Time seems to slow to a stand-still, yet the sun drops lower in the western sky, now filtering through the topmost branches of distant trees. The angle of light at this time of day brightens colors, exaggerates whites, shows off every dust mote and hovering insect.

I watch my daughters as they do a sort of slow motion ballet. The two young girls gather more handfuls of glorious white weeds and send them heavenward. They create a blizzard of fluff filled with the sound of their delight. Surely they’ll tire of this game soon, I think to myself as I observe their leaps and laughter. Instead, they take a cluster in each hand and spin in a circle, creating a swirling breeze that catches and carries the ephemeral seeds in loops and eddies.

Sunlight wafts through the scene like an added sound of joy on the breeze. Each poof of white shimmers and dances. The halo of curly blond hair on my youngest daughter glows silver as she spins and dances and smiles. My older daughter’s long brown locks capture the light and create a golden aura as she twirls and leaps and laughs.

Peace settles like shimmering star-dust on my shoulders. The music of the moment fills the air and swirls through me as these two small angels dance in a fleeting vision.

It comes to me, clearer than any revelation. Heaven is here. Heaven is now.

Categories: Joy, Memory Lane, parenting | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Not So Serious Quotes and Things to Smile About

I suppose this sign doesn’t apply to you folks in Colorado or Washington State anymore…

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

1. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -George Carlin –

2. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

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3. When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people. -Anonymous

4. “I used to be indecisive.  Now I’m not sure.” – Anonymous

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5. “What do you call a chicken crossing the road?”

“Poultry in motion.” – Laffy Taffy

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6. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katherine Hepburn

7. “There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.” – Lawrence Welk

8. “He’s all Kumbaya…”- Leanne Tilby

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9. “Have fun storming the castle.” – The Princess Bride

10. “I really can’t think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite,” – Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Laughing at Death

I became best friends with someone on Death’s fast track.

That was not my plan.  I had simply volunteered to do some driving.  My schedule was “whateva” and her schedule was whatever the Mayo Clinic said it was.

Boy, can I just tell you I was nervous that first day I drove.  I’d never been on a first name basis with cancer, chemo or the effects of either.  Within minutes of getting in her car she had set me at ease.  It was like some cog in the universe clicked into place and machinery started running.

We talked about anything and everything.  The comfortable nature of our conversation surprised and delighted me.  She is a direct and open person who says exactly what she thinks, how she feels, what’s in her head and her heart.  That freedom unlocked my usually reticent nature and I opened up with an honesty I didn’t know I had in me to give.

IT’S A TWO WAY STREET

I became a pretty regular driver for her.  She has been patient with me as I learned when to talk and when to keep to myself as she rides the waves of nausea or works her way through the gauntlet of pain for that day.  I’ve became familiar with her body language which can tell me when her pain meds aren’t enough, or signal me that she might have forgotten to take her meds altogether.  She recognizes, even through the chemo/cancer fog, when I’m having a crappy day.  She manages to get me to talk about whatever is on my mind.  And she listens as if my little worries are really important.  She never makes me feel like my stuff is stupid in comparison to her incredible hourly battles.

She is a phenomenal listener.  Sure she can talk up a storm and tell the most outrageously funny stories, but when it comes to listening, she is focused and following every word, even as a disintegrating rib grinds at her or one of her glass shattering migraines threatens with an explosion.

MISSING THE GOOD STUFF

Her kind of cancer, multiple myeloma, with the three out of four chromosomal deletions in her DNA chain, means she won’t be around to see grandkids born, will probably actually miss  most of her kids’ weddings, will miss most of her youngest daughter’s teen years.  It’s kept her from bouncing on the trampoline with her youngest which has really miffed them both.  This cancer has forced her to look death in the face and prepare for its inevitability.

Most of us don’t think about those things if we can help it.  We don’t plan our own funerals, pick out our own casket, make baby blankets for grandbabies we will never see, write letters for major life events in our children’s lives we won’t be there for.  Those things are her realities and she doesn’t pretend them away.  She talks about it all.  Not only does she talk about death openly and with a resilient faith, she laughs about her life as well.

Laughter...

Laughter… (Photo credit: leodelrosa…)

I could try to explain a situation where death sounds funny, but you wouldn’t get it.  I’m not that good of a comedian.  This is truly, utterly, absolutely one of those situations that you have to be there to get it.  But I guess I can try.

PARTY IN THE BATHROOM

Before her stem cell replacement she had a grueling five-day stint in the hospital where she became intimate with the desire to die.  The caustic chemical cocktail pumped into her to prepare her body for the onslaught of the stem cell treatment shook her to the core.  Her hair started to fall out in clumps.  Did she cry?  A little, maybe.  But what she did after that was call her neighbor’s son, who is a barber, and arranged a head shaving party.  Break out the video camera, she said.  They braided a bunch of little braids and then lopped those off for whoever wanted one, her sister, her daughters.   Then she had him shave words into the sides, her and her husband’s initials with a heart on one side and her graduating class year on the other.  Then they sculpted a bit of a Mohawk, spiked with some gel to complete the look.  Photos all around.  Then the final buzz and she was a bald woman.  A couple of days later we located an electric razor to take off the last prickly slivers that were still falling out and creating a nuisance.  She was smiling.  How does she do that?  It’s who she is.

BEATLES OR BEE GEES?

Here is another example of her humor. There were two ringtones I had picked out to use for when she called my cell phone.  Couldn’t decide which one to use so I told her about each one.  The first one is the Beatles  “Help!”  She knows she can call me anytime, night, day, for a soda run, a midnight ER ride, lunch, cleaning, errands, whatever.  And she has, and I’m so glad I’ve been able help.  By the same token she has been there for me in a hundred different ways.  She has listened through job losses, kid challenges, money worries.  She has loaned me her car countless times, paid for lunches beyond reckoning, filled me with diet Pepsi’s and been like a therapist to me.  So “Help” by her favorite band seemed a very appropriate ringtone.

But then, I also picked The Bee Gees “Stayin’ Alive.”  She heard that and giggled her signature little girl laugh. Staying alive has been her battle the past four years.  She has fought and endured hell to stay alive for her kids, to stick around, to be here as long as possible for them.  The fight has not been about herself, but about them. That she can laugh about a ringtone in the face of all that crap really rocks. That’s the ringtone she picked.  So when my phone starts singing, “Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive, staying alive,” a smile breaks across my face and I answer with joy, “Woman!!  What up?”  We crack ourselves up.

CONTAGIOUS

Nothing is quite so contagious as her smile.  She has dimples that rival any Gerber baby.  And her eyes are lit with mischievousness and hope.  No one being around her would ever guess at her battles or believe that she is walking the shortcut toward death.

I think sometimes that Death himself will walk past and not recognize her.  Maybe He has.  Maybe the energy of her laughter has kept Him at a distance these past few years. I hope she can keep on laughing.

Categories: Relationships | Tags: , , , , | 18 Comments

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