Monthly Archives: October 2012

Simplify. Are you kidding me?

Posted on October 31, 2012 by Kami

“Pick a random word and do Google image search on it. Check out the eleventh picture it brings up. Write about whatever that image brings to mind.”

Simplify? Who me?

My jaw hangs open. I am astounded.

Do you ever wonder how things happen that seem so serendipitous?  So random, and yet, so planned.  Like a happy accident.

That’s how I felt when I counted to eleven on my Google image search.

It’s my Destiny

Obviously I am destined to read this book. Whether is will help me solve my current dilemma or simply add to it, I don’t know yet.

Like any good reader/writer, there is a bit of chaos, semi-controlled, here and there about my home.  Sometimes the chaos is winning, sometimes I am.  Freshly dusted flat places become receptacles for a few papers, a magazine, a DVD, and a mountain begins to grow.  Okay, maybe only a small hill.  But piles erupt spontaneously as if to taunt me.  I try to stay on top of it, but work, family stuff, errands, writing, reading, eating, volunteer stuff, laundry, cooking, sleeping, all seem to get in the way of the housekeeping.

book pile

book pile (Photo credit: luiginter)

I usually have a few, (okay, many) books around the house in different stages of “readingness.”  Bookmarked, dog-eared,  left open cover up, left open cover down, an empty mug holding the page, another book holding the page open.  It gets a little silly. But, let’s be clear; books are not clutter.  No way!

Here’s a bit of irony for you.

One day one of those hill-like piles had a book on the topic of decluttering perched precariously at its peak.  It was Clutter’s Last Stand if I remember correctly. Although, it could have been half a dozen other books on the subject of dejunking, organizing, winning the lottery merely to hire a full-time maid, simplifying, streamlining, or decluttering. I own a few books on those topics.

My husband thought that particular dusty book, resting on a pile of  stuff and clutter was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

I was not amused.

The clutter and the chaos drives me crazy!

I attempt solutions:

  • Trying to tackle it all myself with what little energy I have left after work and on weekends. Not so much a solution, more a self-inflicted bad mood.
  • Enlisting the help of family members met with more success when the children were much younger, didn’t hold down jobs or go to school or date.
  • MSH is a bit perfectionistic and takes a really long time, but he builds a pretty nifty set of shelves.
  • I buy books on the subject of decluttering.  I read books on the subject of clutter and how to manage it, reduce it, or live with it.
  • I actually declutter a little.
  • I dream about implementing all the amazing ideas in the books.
  • We move to a bigger house.
  • We move to a smaller house.
  • I secretly hope for a small disaster that wipes the slate clean.

I feel the weight of the nonsense surrounding me.  The already full sink of dishes when I’d just spent half an hour washing them up taunts me. The overflowing laundry basket snickers at me.  The opened box of Halloween decorations I have yet to put up cackles. The unswept floor sends shivers up my spine. The bathrooms rival any haunted house. The garage is the stuff of nightmares.

Unfettered Revelry

Seriously, there aren’t that many people living here.  We’re gone half the time working, and asleep  the other half. The stuff all out-of-place makes me wonder if it all gets up and wanders around at night or while I’m gone to work and flings itself about in wild, unfettered revelry.

No wonder I conjured the word “simplify” when I sat down at the computer.

I Sigh.

I consider staying up all night to make a dent in the piles.

MSH made the bed the bed this morning, and it looks inviting, calls to me, sings comforting, happy songs to lull me over to it. The pillow joins in with harmony. The alarm stares in a hypnotizing blink.

It’s much, much too late to attempt tackling any of the chaos and nonsense.

For now, I think I’ll take the Scarlett O’hara approach,  “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow!”

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Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , | 8 Comments

Gratituesday Thoughts From a Dreamer of Words

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday!

Today I am thankful for those who have encouraged me in the pursuit of one of my dreams.

Surely to most people I am just that, a dreamer.  I appear to be one of those individuals that imagine a utopia but have little means to bring it to pass, or a daydreamer whose thoughts find little substance, or an idealist with no real grasp of the limitations of this life. Some see my pursuit as a nice hobby, like knitting or needlepoint, but this pursuit is much more than that.

Writing Apparatus

Writing Apparatus (Photo credit: Kazarelth)

Luckily for me, there are those who believe in my dreams, who share my idyllic views, who see potential in imagination and creativity.  You see, I belong to a writer’s group.  To the uninitiated, that is akin to saying I belong to a coven of witches or a to a society convinced the world is flat.  But no, I’ve found this group of generous, well-grounded women more stalwart than any paid advocate could ever be.

They have emboldened me, told me they won’t give up on me, expressed concern that I might give up on myself, have listened with kindness, been patient with my varying schedule and shared their own carefully crafted works of art and heart.  Together we’ve found beauty amidst ashes and hope and immense joy in our medium of words.

There are many others who have encouraged me in my writing. Several professors saw potential and kindly shared their positive critiques.  MSH has been like a cheerleader in spite of the time my obsession has commandeered.  Friends and family express interest, ask about progress, share praise.  I feel lucky in that supportive framework in more ways than I can count.  I know that not everyone who pursues a dream has such encouragement.

I am a writer. As I find words to match thoughts and search for meaning among chaos, I feel blessed and buoyed by many. For that, today and everyday, I am grateful.

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Categories: Gratituesday, Writing | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Hey, Batter Batter Swing! Tigers, Giants, Donkeys and Elephants

Posted on October 29, 2012 by Kami

English: Line art drawing of a baseball field....

A baseball game. Four bases, nine players per team, an umpire and people watching on the sidelines.

  • The game that the pitcher sees is seen from the center of the four bases, facing toward home plate.
  • The game that the catcher sees is from behind home plate facing the pitcher.
  • The batter sees the game from beside home plate, at least while at bat. If he hits the ball his perspective will change rapidly, from base to base to base to home.
  • What the left fielder sees is not the same thing that the right fielder sees.
  • Short stop sees an angle similar to, but not exactly the same as the left fielder. And each base player has an angle unique to their position on the field.

And, sometimes, it seems, that the umpire is seeing an entirely different game altogether than everyone else.

And we’d be right to think so.

Because, he’s seeing the game from behind home plate, hunched over the catcher, with a batter on one side just ahead of him.  No one else in the stadium has that exact same view.

There’s also those observers of the game.  The game experience can be vastly different each time I attend. Sitting in front of a group of people who’ve had a few extra beers before ever arriving at the game, and then have steadily added to that amount as they’ve watched, will color my experience because I’ll get their unfiltered, fairly loud comments as a sort of spice to the game.  My team may lose, but I might walk away having had a hilariously entertaining time.  Or I could leave angry and agitated by the drunken fans.

And then there’s the kind of game.  A little league game is going to have a different feel and look than a small hometown high school rivalry game.  And the major league experience I have watching the Diamondbacks play in downtown Phoenix with the Chase Field roof closed, is going to vary significantly from watching the Colorado Rockies team playing at Coors Field during a rainstorm.

It’s all just baseball.  Isn’t it?

We’re talking innings, strikes, balls, outs, fly balls, runs, errors, home runs, mitts, bats, stealing, sliding, catching, throwing.  Basic baseball.

So many points of view.

And it’s just a game.

Here’s my question.  Okay, questions.  Who’s having the real baseball experience?  Which point of view is correct?  Is there a correct point of view? Can everyone be right?  Can every experience be valid? Is the pee wee game where everyone’s a winner just as “baseballesque” as the World Series?  Or is something in-between the two extremes the “real” baseball experience?

Am I just talking baseball here?

It feels bigger than that, but I haven’t figured it out yet. I don’t follow baseball.  I had to Google “world series” to see who was playing.  I think it’s more than baseball though. It feels like a political metaphor.  But I don’t talk politics.  I steer clear of controversy of all flavors. Any insight you have about why baseball is on my mind would be helpful.

I want all the answers, but I don’t think I can have them all.  I think I’m just one player in the game with most of my time spent on the bench, spitting out sunflower husks, making a mess of things.

I feel a little antsy hoping, worrying, watching.  There’s only so much I can do from my perspective out in the field or on the bench, or in the stands, or behind the plate.

Does it matter?

Sure it does.  To me.

And to everyone else.

What’s your perspective?

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Categories: Politics?, Sports | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Gardening for Arizona Summer Survivors and Other Interested Persons

Posted on October 28, 2012 by Kami

African Daisies from my front yard last February

It’s gardening time in Arizona.  Hard to believe but true. Most of the northern hemisphere has already experienced an early taste of winter, a dash of snow, some frost, some dang is it really that time of year again driving.

Here in this odd pocket of strangeness that is the desert southwest, (no I’m not going to capitalize it) we are finally coming into our own, emerging from our air-conditioned caves, cars and hovels, to the bright new season that is sanity.

There is a good reason the town is named Phoenix.  A mythical bird that rises from the ashes.  That would be us, the desert rats, I mean, dwellers, the real survivors.  We don’t sneak away during the heat and come back later when it cools down like the snowbirds have the luxury of doing.  But that’s just me being bitter.  Sorry.

We come out in droves once the temperatures begin to stay below 90 degrees and the night-time temperature dip into the 70’s.  This morning it is a brisk and chilly 50 degrees if I step outside, which I’m not going to do since I’m still in my jammies. Yes, I said, chilly.  It’s a sixty degree difference from the 110’s we, ahem, enjoy, during the summer onslaught.  So yes, 50 feel chilly.

With such reasonable and lovely temperatures outdoors we Arizonans begin to think life is once again livable and endurable and we head outdoors to do all sorts of things we can brag about to our northern neighbors.  We post photos on Facebook of ourselves in the pool on New Years Day even though the water truly is too cold for swimming.  We throw some steaks on the grill in January and call a sibling to incite more rivalry, which we miss dearly.  We plant a garden and text or online chat about the tomatoes we just ate fresh off the vine in February.

And then we wonder why we get so many visitors in the winter.  Go figure.

I digress.

It’s gardening season.

In honor of that, I’m sharing a batch of information and websites from a recent very amature class I taught about Arizona gardening.

It’s handy stuff if you’re interested in growing anything here in the desert, from a solitary pot of flowers, to an all out miniature farm in your backyard (which MSH would love, but I won’t allow.)

For those of you in the wintry states, it’s a bit of interesting reading if you like gardening.

A California poppy, from amidst the rocks of my front yard.

I might make a quick mention that if you want wildflowers to bloom amidst your rocks or elsewhere you have another week or two to scatter those African Daisy seeds or California Poppy seeds.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have not planted my garden yet this year.  I’m a slacker, yes.  At least this year I am.  I could give you all my lame excuses but that would be boring.  I’m happy to try to answer any gardening questions you might have if I can, but honestly, all the websites below are where I learned ninety percent of what I know about gardening here.  So check them out and learn.  Then grow!

Phoenix Area Gardening Basics

Sun – 6 hours minimum is needed for a healthy garden.  Protection from afternoon sun is ideal but not absolutely necessary

Soil – lots of compost/organic matter and gypsum added to your soil (6 inches deep) or buy several good potting soil mixes to spade in together

Season – consult the planting guide for what to plant when (cool season or warm season)

Seeds – buy seeds that indicate early crop.  Store for up to 3 years if kept in a dry, cool spot, like inside your house. Dollar store kinds are fine. Our growing season is short, very short, hence the need for early crop varieties.

Water – a timer hooked up to a sprinkler or drip system is easiest.  Deep watering on a regular schedule will promote a strong root system and a healthy plant.

The early stages of one of my square-foot garden beds, sadly, not this year.

Square foot gardens You will only need 20 percent of the ground you would use for the row-and-furrow method. Lay out your garden in 4-foot-square boxes (or multiples like  3 x 4, 4 x 4, 4 x 8) so you can reach in from either side. If you have a box along a wall or fence, then make it only 2 feet wide (or multiples like 2 by 4, 2 by 8, 2 by 12) because you can only work the garden from one side and you won’t have to walk on the soil.

Use Miracle-Gro garden soil (or any other high quality gardening soil) – about four bags of 2 cubic feet each per box. If you have more than three 4 by 4 boxes, call Pioneer Materials and order sandy loam soil. It costs only $45 (at least a couple years ago it did ) for delivery of 1 cubic yard or more. Tell them how many square foot you will need, times 6 inches deep to figure volume. (http://www.melbartholomew.com/  (This blog is by the original guy who invented square-foot gardening!)

Containers – Many plants do well in pots, especially herbs, tomatoes, peppers.  Just keep a closer eye on watering needs

Gardening Websites

*Timely Tips – what to do each month, problems you might encounter, and how to solve them.  Includes lawn care and some tree info. http://cals.arizona.edu/maricopa/garden/html/t-tips/t-tips.htm

*Herbs – azherb.org  This site has great tips for soil preparation and discussions about herbs specifically and gardening generally

*Maricopa County Cooperative Extension – Anything you could possibly want to know or ask about gardening in Maricopa county.  http://cals.arizona.edu/maricopa/garden/html/general/hort.htm

*Flower planting guide – What to plant during which months, and bloom  times.  http://cals.arizona.edu/pubs/garden/az1100.pdf

*Square Foot Gardening  http://www.melbartholomew.com/

Categories: Gardening, Outdoors | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Good, The Bad, The Not So Pretty of Parenting Moments

Posted on October 27, 2012 by Kami

The statute of limitations has expired on this one, so I think I can safely share this story with you.  Why I am sharing a moment of weakness is beyond me.  I must be tired this morning.

At the time this story occurred, time, repetition and lack of forward motion worked against me.  Keep those three points in mind. Also, please note that I am normally a calm, well behaved citizen.

Also, it had probably been a more stressful morning than usual.  What could have caused additional stress at our house at that point in time could have been one of hundreds of things. It was probably several dozen of a hundred that put me in a dither that morning.

Why do I feel like I’m presenting testimony in a court hearing? Enough!  On with the story.

My daughter  who shall remain nameless, was needing a ride to school.  Fine.  We’d done that countless times.  This particular day she or I, let’s just say we to simplify things, were running a bit late.  But, if we didn’t have to stop for too many long red lights she’d still make it to class on time.

Arriving on the school property I slowed to the requisite 8 mph.  A sigh of exasperation crossed my lips as I saw them.  The dreaded orange cones.

It was encouraging 0603100930

I hated the stupid orange cones.  We called them the orange cones of death.  Why?  The cones were school security’s way of directing traffic the way THEY thought it should flow.  I’m sure if you have hundreds, nay, thousands, of parents driving whichever direction they wanted whilst dropping off their beloved offspring for a day of molding and shaping their ever eager minds, it could become a traffic jam of epic proportions.  I understand that.  I really do.  So I would dutifully follow the path of least resistance that occurred by following the orange cones.

The flow of traffic, however, made little sense to the sleep deprived parental mind when there remained only 2 minutes until the tardy bell rang.  Looping all the way around the parking lot, over countless speed bumps designed to destroy what little alignment remained in the car was a waste of precious time and sanity. What made the traffic flow even more ridiculous was that the drop off point was a mere twenty feet away  from where the orange cones of death began their path.  A simple, quick left turn would allow a nearly immediate drop off with minutes to spare.  That would free up time for the child to amble off to class, helping little old ladies across the hallway, shaking hands respectfully with the principal and offering to carry a heavy box for a teacher, if she so desired.

A quick left hand turn would ease the stress of certain parents, would improve the morning race to get everyone out the door, and would, in fact, lend itself to beginnings of world peace.  A quick left hand turn would be logical and there was little logic in this traffic pattern which required a circuitous route.

I might add here that there were very few cars driving this gauntlet of ridiculousness with only a couple of minutes until classes started.  The parking lot was nearly void of moving cars, there were virtually no students in the area, and the security golf cart guys were off having their morning laugh together.

Normally I would simply resign myself to the fate of another bumpy slog over the river and through the woods of the parking lot to drop of said child at the doors to the halls of learning.

That would be a normal reaction.

This particular day was not normal.  (Reference the above one hundred or more reasons for stress.)

This one morning of many something in me snapped.

“Stupid! Orange! Cones!” I yelled.  “Not today!”

I raced my engine up to 12 mph and turned the wheels sharply to the left and simply drove over the stupid orange cones.

Yes, this was in full sight of the front office.

I didn’t care.

I felt triumphant.

I felt victorious.

I had stuck it to the man.

I felt a little embarrassed.

“There ya’ go, my love,” I said as we pulled neatly up to the curb.

My daughter was laughing hysterically.

I stifled my own laugh.

“Have a nice day!” I chirped.

“I love you mom!” she said through her laughter. “Get a nap today, I think you need it!”

I watched her amble in through the doors of the school and drove off into the sunrise.

*****     *****     *****     *****      *****

For the most hilarious read you’ll have in months, I can assure you laughter with tears if you follow this link, written by a brilliant blogger from South Africa. Parenting for Dummies by 23 thorns.  Enjoy!!

Categories: Humor, Traffic | Tags: , , , , | 7 Comments

A Scratch and Sniff Post; Thoughts from the Dogless Side of Life

Posted on October 26, 2012 by Kami

You know that famous painting of the dogs playing poker?  I know a dog that could do that.  He is a player, a faker, a bluffer.  He uses every situation to his advantage.

I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, he’s not a mean dog. Farthest thing from it.  He’s the sweetest thing on four legs I’ve ever met.

You see, he’s actually a drama queen kind of dog.  Yes, it’s true.  A dog drama queen.

Let me introduce you to Murphy.  First of all, he is not my dog.  I do not own dogs, I don’t have any desire to own dogs.  I have children, and a husband. Just enough of each.  A dog is just another human being in disguise.  I have no need for another household member to care for, worry about, feed, cajole, mollify, or cater to.  (Now I sound like a bad guy, whatever.)

Drama Queen Extraordinaire, Murphy

Murphy is the proud owner of a family that I am friends with.  I’m at their home almost every day.  And every time I show up at the door, there is Murphy behaving as if I abandoned him and he thought he’d never see me again.  He gets this whiny, shaking, I’m so traumatized I could cry thing going on that makes you want to pick him up and snuggle him like a baby.  Just like he wants you to do.  I used to buy into this act. He’s not really all that traumatized.  But it gets him some stellar attention. I’ve seen him act that way with other visitors to the house, and frankly I get a little jealous.  Which of course plays into Murphy’s scheming.

Once a rescue puppy, he has scraggly black fur, a lopsided ear and a nub of a tail. Murphy can look for all the world like a newborn puppy when his fur grows too long.  He becomes a roly-poly looking furball with no eyes.  When he’s been to the groomers and gotten a nice cut, he’s the skinniest ratlike creature I’ve ever seen. Clean shaven or fluffy he uses his good looks to his own personal benefit. He’s going to cute his way into your heart, no matter how determined you may be to keep him at a distance.

I’ve spent a little too much time at Murphy’s house.  I know this because I’ve learned all the nuances of his barking.  There’s the typical territorial barking at the window if the mailman dares drive by or the neighborhood’s little old man shuffles past.  His pitch, speed and excitement increase a notch if someone approaches the door.

If someone he doesn’t like comes to the door, Murphy becomes a Doberman.  Attack dog on the loose, watch out.  It’s really something to see a tiny fuzzball transform into the mental equivalent of a guard dog.  Fierce in a hilarious sort of way. He’s got your back and he lets you know it. Being so tiny he might not being able to do much to save your back, but he’s there, nonetheless.

Some visitors to the house are welcomed with a song by Murphy.  Literally, he starts a high-pitched singing thing, as if he can’t control the excitement and joy in his voice.  It’s a doggy version of angelic choirs breaking forth. Drama. Queen.

I must be delicious because my legs get a regular going over with his tongue. He especially likes the taste of knees.  If your hands are idle he will commandeer them for his personal pleasure.  Human hands were created for nothing more than caressing Murphy behind the ears or feeding him.  A lap is useless if Murphy can’t utilize it.

Suggest to Murphy that he might go out for a walk and he spins in circles at the thought.  He grabs his leash once it’s attached as if he’s going to walk himself.  Ask him if he wants a car ride and he becomes a bouncing ball, leaping four feet into the air in answer, working himself into a frenzy of anticipation.

Murphy spends an inordinate amount of time sleeping, and he does so anywhere he wants to; in one of the kids beds, in the middle of the hallway, at your feet, on the arm of the couch. His favorite place for repose is molded around the curves of someone’s body, tummy exposed, all four legs splayed out, completely trusting.

When no one is looking, Murphy likes to clear the kitchen table of any leftovers, but don’t tell his family that.  He’s a great vacuum, too, as most dogs are. And, he likes to eat carrots, which I think is kind of quirky. He pretends he’s starving if you have food.  He gets his whine on in the most overplayed, melodramatic, sad puppy dog eyed way I have ever witnessed.

All Murphy needs is a little crown and his life would be complete.  He is royalty and silliness, take and give, all rolled into one bundle. And what a package!

Categories: Humor, Relationships | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

Where the Wild Things Are, And the Not So Wild Things

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Kami

Recognizing a major need for escape from daily demands and stressors,  late last spring MSH booked me on a flight for that very day to visit a cousin in Colorado.  Not sure how he pulled that off, but he did.  Six hours later I found myself climbing into my cousin’s vehicle and sleeping on her pullout bed. What followed was a week of rest, meandering hikes, talking, eating, Scrabble and emotional healing. I returned home a new person, ready once again to face the world.  Here are a few select photos from that week.

Wishing I were here again.

This is a representative segment of one of the many lovely trails I enjoyed wandering.  Shady, tree filled, solitary.  Perfect for introspection, ideal for letting nature work her magic.

We had a nice friendly chat.

Seldom did I cross paths with other humans.  I did meet up with a pair of deer that treated me like a friend.  They actually didn’t run off when I approached.  We had a nice conversation for a while as I took pictures of them.  Their eyes have a look in them I haven’t yet been able to describe. My friend here stood still and posed for me five feet away from where I stood.  No need to zoom in.

A small pond I came across in a restoration area caught my eye.  The light and reflections were fun to watch.  The sense of calm the scene invoked was very welcome.

Surrounded by pines and peace.

Here’s another view of a lake I wrote about in an earlier post.  Must have been something about the elevation that made me feel emotionally lighter.  The heavy load I’d been hauling around for months dissipated on this hike.

Thanks for sharing my take on a taste of Colorado. Makes me want to go back for autumn, although I may have missed the colors changing by now.  These photos also remind me that I need that daily dose of nature in my life.  Being out-of-doors, my hands in the soil, my head in the clouds, surrounded by living plants, being part of the sights and sounds of the natural world, can make the difference between wellness and illness, joy and sorrow.

That connection to the real world grounds me, makes me whole and gives me energy. Here’s hoping you have such joys in your days.

Categories: Outdoors | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Ants Go Marching One by One, Hurrah, Hurrah

Posted on October 24, 2012 by Kami

The ants have taken over my yard.

Sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s true.

There are ants marching in a steady cadence around the entire perimeter of my Arizona patch of lawn.  There are ants building little mounds along my side walkway.  Those ants that race around like they found and devoured a discarded bottle of amphetamines are careening about the back porch as well as the driveway.  There seems to be two or three different armored divisions encircling the foundation of the house.  And the little six-legged ankle-biters have set up a path along the brick wall surrounding the yard. I know of at least one bush that they have commandeered for a nest.

Giant anteater (Myrmecophaga tridactyla). Phot...

Giant anteater (Myrmecophaga tridactyla). Photographed at the Phoenix Zoo, Phoenix, AZ. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All these little critters make it difficult to do my yard work.  My ankles itch like crazy from the bites they inflict.  I’ve tried living peaceably with them.  Haven’t hosed them off or tramped on them or purchased an anteater.  I have a feeling an anteater would have some untoward side effects that might be worse than the ants.  Not sure I want to find out about that.

My first task this morning is to launch a counteroffensive against these invaders before they make themselves comfortable inside my house as well.

Peaceful Negotiations Unsuccessful

I have looked into alternative forms of persuasion.  Cinnamon, various other spices, talcum powder, cucumber peelings, vinegar, coffee grounds, citrus peels, chalk, borax mixed with syrup.

These tactics might work temporarily on a few poorly organized hapless group of ants.  This is not your usual little mound of easily dispatched workers.  Beneath my entire yard, well below the topsoil, lies a deep underground network of ants expertly trained and craftily deployed under my home.  We have so many ants I’m a bit concerned that they’re planning to carry the house off to another neighborhood.  No doubt they could if their tiny generals gave the orders.

No, I have set aside my dove like attitude of submission, cajoling, wishing and hoping.  I am now a hawk.  There is a full gallon of highly lethal and toxic bug spray waiting in the garage.  And a very large bag of some sort of bug dust also stands at the ready awaiting deployment by me, the itchy gardener.

Do Dogs, and Ants, Go to Heaven?

I’m not trying to upset the entire ecosystem.  I just want the ants to go hang out in someone else’s yard, preferably ant heaven, if there is such a thing. There they could build little mounds and march in long lines to their tiny hearts’ content.  Do ants have hearts?  I can’t think about that one.  Sends shivers up my spine and makes me feel even more itchy.

Repercussions?  Yes, there probably will be some.  I’m going to spray and scatter now and think about it later.

I just want to plant my winter flowers, weed my garden, and walk to my car without having my feet overrun by multitudes of tiny critters on their way to morning reverie.

Call me cruel.  Maybe I had one too many picnics ruined as a child.

Hoo-rah!

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Categories: Humor, Outdoors | Tags: , , , | 5 Comments

Now That’s Surprising! It’s Gratituesday!

Posted on October 23, 2012 by Kami
folded.

Folded Towels. (Photo credit: Greg Timm)

It’s Gratituesday!  Today I am thankful for surprises.

Some surprises are as simple as finding the dishwasher already emptied and ready for the next load, or a pile of laundry folded by someone other than myself. Receiving a real, handwritten letter or card in the mail brings pleasure that lasts. Volunteer flowers in my garden charm me; an unexpected hummingbird hovering a couple of feet away can change the tone of a day.  A repair costing much less than quoted or finding an item I need on sale, nice!  Hearing a honk and getting a wave as a friend drives by gets my giggle on. Something like finding some crinkly money in a jacket pocket from last year is rare, but so fun. And, what a smile I get when I find just the right amount of change in the car to splurge on a soda.Silly, huh?  Not really.  It’s those tiny thrills and small enchantments that add spice, flavor and joy to my life.

“Let’s try an Experiment,” I said to myself

A bunch of years ago, I started an experiment.  I started writing down a few things, every night before turning out the light, that made me smile, that blessed my life or that brought some happiness to the day.

Some days, many days at first, required some deep thinking to get even three items on the list.  Other days I couldn’t stop writing at just five or seven happy things.

What a difference it made for me.  I started looking during the day for those few things I could list in my notebook that evening.  I made a mental note of the rabbits in the field next to the stoplight.  I paid attention when my daughter hugged me extra tight.  I remembered when my son took the garbage out without being asked.

Here’s a sample list:

  • Clean Sheets.
  • The sound of the wind.
  • Hearing my children’s laughter.
  • A kiss.
  • Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
  • A cold glass of milk.
  • Time for reading.

Sure, some days I felt deflated and defeated.  On those days, defaulting to the basics was the best I could come up with; my health, my family, a place to live, adequate food.  Life hasn’t been all roses, not at all, just the opposite, in fact.  There’s some rough terrain out there if I look back at the path I’ve taken.

Most days, though, I made an effort to be grateful, to be aware, to let the little happinesses get through to me.  I slowed down just enough to be in the moment and take joy in it.  Then I’d make my list that night, short or long, without fail.

For me, writing down those happy things made an impact.  Writing made those blessings last, in my head, and on paper, tweaking something in me and shifting my thinking. Being grateful changed me for the better. What a nice surprise.

Am I ever thankful for that!

            *****

For ideas about starting your own Happy Book or Gratitude Journal click here.

Harvard Medical School published an article about the health benefits of gratitude.  Click here to read it.

A great recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookie nirvana is waiting for you to click this. (You’re on your own with the cold glass of milk.  I prefer 1%, though an occasional, rare, splurge on whole milk is divine.)

Categories: Gratituesday, Joy | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

Do I Have to Spell It Out For You? Body Language, Sign Language and Mind Reading

Posted on October 22, 2012 by Kami

I know an adorable seventeen-month old girl who uses sign language as part of her repertoire of communication skills.  What a marvelous thing to watch her sign “more please” or “all done” or “milk” instead of wailing, crying, throwing a tantrum or simply being frustrated beyond all reason.   After being in the car for way too long one day she kept signing “all done” to her mom in the rear view mirror.  She was definitely all done being in that car seat and ready for a change of scenery.  Such an adaptive kid!

I’ve thought about her and wondered if I need to add some kind of sign language to my life.  Not American Sign Language necessarily.  What I’m thinking I need to have is something akin to the universal sign for I’m choking, (hands at the throat, turning blue, panic on your face) or you’re an idiot driver, (we all know what that looks like, eesh!) or hello (waving a hand.)

I’m thinking something a little more helpful. What I need is a sign for “you’re right, I was being selfish, I’m sorry.”  Then, I need another sign that admits no guilt but apologizes profusely, “Can you ever forgive me, I’m so very sorry.”

I love You

I love You in ASL (Photo credit: purprin)

I also need a sign that clearly communicates, “tonight would be a good night for you to get take out for dinner.”

There is a big need for a sign that says “please don’t talk to me right now or I’ll come unglued.” There’s a more urgent need for a sign that clearly means “please notice me and pay attention and give me a hug before I implode.”

Too complicated? Yeah, probably. Okay, how about a sign for “lonely,” “need a friend,” “in over my head,” “check back in a bit,” or “I like you.” A little too direct maybe.  Hmmm.  Maybe we need direct and concise and less nuance.

Sure, I know there’s that whole body language thing, but it’s so subtle that it’s not always clear.  The “chin wave/head nod” is a great example of this.  It’s a guy thing, or a teenager thing, or both.  There’s a sort of eye contact, but not quite, and then instead of waving hello the other person kind of lifts their chin at you.  Like a fist bump, but not.  When you get a “chin wave”  you feel cool and accepted, but not quite acknowledged.  Couldn’t they have just waved?  Do they not want anyone to know they know you?  See, mixed message.

My favorite universal sign is the smile.  The genuine smile.  Try smiling at the kid in the grocery cart.  Then wait for it.  They get this surprised look that turns into a grin.  Then wink.  Okay, maybe not wink, the parent might get weirded out.  But smile at them like you’re really seeing them.  Smiling at children always surprises them and their response is fun to watch.  You just might make their day! And yours!

While you’re at it wave at the sign holder on the corner, too.  I have a friend whose walking route took her past one of these human sign holders.  She took some time every day to chat a bit, found out this woman’s story.  What a story!!  Now instead of looking away, or pretending distraction, I wave back at her because she is a real person, doing a tough job, (especially tough in the AZ heat) and I want to acknowledge her.  I’ll bet those people hardly ever get a friendly wave.  Wouldn’t you want one if you were them?

But I digress.

Wish I could do the Spock Mind Meld on some people. Boy, would that come in handy!!  Alas, mind reading is another topic for another day.

I’m just trying to up my communication skills here.  Thinking out loud.  Any suggestions you can shoot my way would be very welcome.

Here’s one last idea.  We could try using words.

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Categories: Humor, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

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