Monthly Archives: November 2012

What is that Bird Thinking?

I’ve been cold for so long I think I’ll never be warm again.  But I’ve been sitting in this sink filled with cold water for a few hours and the frost is starting to give a bit under my wings. I’m ready for some fresh water.

turkey for LD

turkey for LD (Photo credit: Collin Anderson)

The other turkeys said it would be awful to get roasted, but I can’t wait.  It will feel so good to get my legs warmed up, my insides heated, my skin nice and brown.

Roasted Turkey

I always knew I was destined to be an Arizona Snow Bird basking in the warmth, admired, respected, desired, craved, saved.  I’m a happy bird.

 

Make sure your bird is a happy one by clicking on the following related links:

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Treasure in the Mountains: A Short Story

One early summer day our family drove to the mountains with a shovel and a bucket in the back of our red-winged Chevy station wagon.  We were winding through a canyon called Strawberry on a narrow road, when we pulled onto the dirt shoulder.

Dad got out, grabbing the shovel and bucket.  My older brother and I tagged along behind him up the embankment.  Mom stayed behind in the car with the three younger kids.  As usual, I was full of questions and as usual I’m sure dad wished I’d just quiet down and follow along.  My brother had found a stick and was whacking things with it, rocks, other sticks, bugs, pine trees.  Dad wandered in and out among the trees and bushes as if he were looking for something.

I thought maybe he had buried a treasure here when he “was a young pup,” as he liked to say about his own childhood.   Now, I figured, he was back to claim his prize.

There were scrappy little pine trees no taller than me, scattered among the taller evergreens, but mostly there were tall clusters of white barked trees of various heights and widths.  It was quiet on this little hillside which, living in a household of five kids, was a rare commodity.  I found an old tree stump and sat down.  I could see dad wandering with his shovel not far off.  He had handed the bucket to my brother who was following at a distance, stick dragging behind him.

The air smelled like air does in the mountains, saturated with oxygen and the sweet musk of decay and new growth.  In the silence I heard a quiet sound of water flowing, as if a stream had just opened up on the hillside above me.  I turned to see where it was.  How could I have missed a stream to splash in and explore.  There was no water that I could see; yet the sound of water rushing increased.

Looking around, I saw Dad and my brother up the hill a ways.  As I hiked over to where they were I noticed Dad bent over clearing leaves and rocks from an area on the ground.  Instead of uncovering a large X marking a treasure or digging a big deep hole to unearth his cache, he carefully carved a circle out of the dirt.  It was a circle about the same size as our five-gallon bucket.  As I drew closer Dad wedged the shovel in slowly and lifted out a large chunk of dirt and rock and sticks and eased the whole mess into the bucket.  He gently tossed a couple of loose shovelfuls of dirt in on top of that.

“Well?” he said, his voice triumphant.  “Whaddaya think?”

I looked at him quizzically. “What’s it for?”

My brother answered for him with that tone big brothers get. “It’s a tree, a sap-ling,” he said, emphasizing each syllable as if I had never heard the word sapling before.

It was then I finally noticed in the bucket of dirt, a thin, creamy white stick, no bigger round than my thumb.  At the top of its not quite three-foot stature, a few roundish leaves held on in little clusters.  I reached out to touch one of the leaves, but stopped when my dad spoke.

“It’s a Quakie.”

“A quakie?  What’s a quakie?  Why do we have a quakie?  What are we gonna do with the quakie?  Why is it called a quakie?”

My dad waited for me to stop my stream of questions.  He lifted his shovel and kind of pointed with it at the stand of trees beside us.  “These are quakies – Quaking Aspen trees.”

My eyes followed the tall white, mottled trunks skyward to their canopy of round leaves.  Just then, a breeze blew in and that water flowing sound began again, and dad said, “See them winking at you?”  The leaves were moving in the breeze and changing color from bright green to nearly white.

It was then that I realized that rushing water sound wasn’t water at all.  It was the Quaking Aspen leaves brushing against each other in the wind, saying hello to me.

I felt a bit dizzy and reached out to a tree trunk to steady myself.  The smooth semi-glossy trunk felt warm and dry and comforting.  My hand said hello back to the winking trees and we were instant soul mates.  I ran my hand around the white trunk, feeling the tiny knobs and pits and bumps, the wrinkles and warps.  I kept looking up at the river of leaves above and the reaching white branches, the bit of blue sky peeking through.  I was somehow back home in a home I’d never known.  I was among friends I once knew, happy through to my toes.

“So, Dad?” I asked from my reverie.  “Is that a baby tree in the bucket?”

“Yup, it’s going home with us.  We’re planting it in the front yard.  Let’s get going!”

I leaned into the tree I was holding  and said a silent goodbye with a promise to care for the baby tree we were adopting.  I also vowed to come back and visit again soon. Dad’s whistle called me out of my haze and caught my attention.  He and my brother and the bucket with the quakie sapling were almost to the car already.  I loped down the hill past cluster after cluster of newfound friends.

I rode in the back of the car with the tree, watching as its round leaves jiggled and twisted with the cars movement. One side of each leaf was green as anything you’ve ever seen.  The other side was nearly white. I understood the “quaking” part of the name now.  Just a breath from my nose would flutter a leaf so easily.  The trunk was a miniature of the one I had held on to in the woods, smooth and creamy, with tiny bumps and speckles.  I think I memorized every part of that tree by time we pulled into the driveway.

I watched carefully as Dad bedded the baby tree into its new home in our front yard in the foothills.

When I discovered the Quaking Aspen’s radiant gold coins of fall, I knew I was right about Dad’s treasure up there in the hills.  It wasn’t a buried treasure, but one that shone out every autumn. Before any other tree changed colors, the Quaking Aspen leaves turn a brilliant yellow that whispers to me and calls me home to the mountains.

Categories: Outdoors | Tags: , , , , | 8 Comments

Why Is The Duck Lonely?

I had an English teacher in High School, Mr. Beck, bless his ever patient soul, who used to tell us “You’ve got the emphasis on the wrong syllable.”  But he’d pronounce emphasis and syllable with the stress on the middle syllable.  Like so: Em-PHA-sis and sy-LA-ble. Repeat after me, “You’ve got the em-PHA-sis on the wrong sy-LLA-ble.”

I loved how this sentence taught the concept by internal example.  Very clever and memorable.  Can you remember anything at all that YOUR high school English teacher said to you a few decades ago?

Mr. Beck had a few other choice things to share on occasion that I still remember, but I won’t ever repeat them here.  He had a very wry sense of humor.  Last I’d heard he had quit teaching and gone into the corporate world.  What a loss, he was a great teacher.

But I digress.

I mention Mr. Beck’s infamous saying as a preface to a road trip experience I had a few years back.

Two of my daughters were with me at the end of a couple of weeks visiting relatives, attending family reunions, dodging summer construction zones, singing inane songs about the traffic cones and traffic in general.  Seems that particular trip had involved more travel than most.  We were pretty traveled out on our return trip home.

Part of that return trip involved the winding roads south of Hoover Dam.  I think we had hit the twilight zone of road tripping.  Meaning we were bored beyond reason, making up songs that made no sense, and telling jokes with no punch lines and still laughing ourselves silly.

Food was often the answer to boredom in the car, so one of the girls broke out some of the snacks.  One package followed the cereal box mantra of trying to entertain and educate.

It suggested reading a particular sentence out loud with the emphasis on a different word each time you read the sentence.

The sentence was: Why is the duck lonely?

English: Rubber duck, Kimmeridge Bay This larg...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay. Boredom won out, we’d give it a try, out loud.

WHY is the duck lonely? – Kind of makes you wonder what’s been going on in its life.

Why IS the duck lonely? – A sort of questioning if the duck is lonely at all, or maybe doubt about the duck’s loneliness.

Why is THE duck lonely? – This particular duck’s loneliness is in question.

Why is the DUCK lonely? – Is the fish lonely too, or just the duck.  Makes you wonder about the rest of the story.

Why is the duck LONELY? – Is there a different emotion the duck could be feeling? Sad?  Melancholy? Why lonely?

Five words and a question mark.  Five different meanings.  Strange and fascinating. And we all thought communication was such a straightforward and direct thing.  Who knew that where the emphasis falls could make such an impact.

This little sentence is often a kind of mantra for me.  If I’m not understanding a situation, particularly a relationship issue, I try to rearrange the emphasis of a sentence, a thought or an emotion.  Sometimes it shines a different color or brightness of light on things that I hadn’t thought of before.  Sometimes I am just as confused, or more so, than before.

If nothing else, it’s a fun exercise to try if you’re stuck driving an endlessly long stretch of highway.

Categories: Relationships, Wondering | Tags: , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Cabin Fever Girls: A Tale of Silliness and Mayhem

I wouldn’t have put this group of five women together by choice a few years ago, but this particular week, we all came together for a getaway to the mountains.  Through the generosity of extended family, one of our ladies had procured the use of her family cabin.

Arriving at the most palatial cabin this side of Yellowstone Lodge caught a few of us by surprise.  We had expected rustically roughing it, cooking by cast iron over an open flame, chilled on a cot in a windy, poorly chinked log hut.  What we ended up with was something quite delightfully the opposite.  Without going into too much detail, it was the type of cabin that insists on a sophisticated alarm system, a security gate, a caretaker, and the ability to set aside one’s views of roughing it in the mountains.  Exploring and touring the place was one of ongoing the highlights of our four-day visit there.

Golden-mantled Ground Squirrel (Spermophilus l...

Image taken by Eborutta. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Squirrel!

We adopted the “UP!” dog mentality of always being on the lookout for “SQUIRREL!” as there seemed to exist an endless number of ways to display the critters in statues, photos, drawing, carvings and bass reliefs of squirrels in every room, hallways, bath, pillar and post.  Tastefully done, and oh so fun!

We were in motherhood escape heaven!  No cell phones, no Internet, no sirens, no kids, no husbands, no demands, no schedule.  Just the five of us with great food, a relaxing atmosphere, a five-star kitchen to cook in, and an endless supply of chocolate and scotcheroos.

Dinner was divine, the conversation full of healing laughter, shared tears, open discussion about some difficult subjects.  It was the kind of discussion that only happens when barriers are let down, interruptions are gone, children and husbands absent, and relaxation is the predominant sensation. We were on our way to a phenomenally epic extended weekend.

Using only our body clocks as timepieces, we finally decided we’d mosey off for some much-needed sleep.  Already my pillow was serenading me from the second floor.  I was ready for a long winters nap.

Ah…..

Unfortunately, halfway through my bedtime ritual an alarm went off.

We all rushed out of our respective rooms, in various states of bedtime readiness, appropriately alarmed.  (Yes I really did say that.)

We looked to our leader; it was her family cabin after all, for clues about how worried and what our next steps should be.  She checked out the alarm system grid and announced, to our relief, that the alarm was for one of the outbuildings, not the main building we were in.

For her it was clear that the next step was to go over to that particular building and confront the intruder.

What?  Are you kidding me?

Two of us were No Way On God’s Green Earth going to step anywhere outside the safety and security of where we were.  I was one of them.  The other three were as excited as Charlie’s Angels on assignment.

They looked around for weapons.

A few moments later they emerged with flashlights, wasp spray, oven cleaner and a mop.

My reasonable and safe companion and I laughed out loud.  “Are you serious?”  They explained the logic of the wasp spray choice; it shoots a stream of toxic liquid over six feet long.  Oven cleaner, naturally, was caustic and burning and a good alternative to mace.  The mop could be used for beating, impaling and eye gouging.

Great!! They were good to go.

“Oh! And I can bring John Wayne!” the ringleader cheered as she ran toward the fireplace.  She reached up and lifted down an ancient looking handgun.  “Movie Prop!” is what I think she said, what I hoped she said.  “No bullets, just the intimidation factor.  It hasn’t been fired in forever, I think it’s rusted closed.”

Phew!

I wish I had taken a photo.

Try to picture it: Three middle-aged Charlie’s Angels, on the prowl to face the intruder, which was hopefully just a house mouse, chipmunk or at worst, a skunk.

We two reasonable chickens went up to the second story to observe the happenings in the outbuilding from a safe distance.

Clearly they had watched too many crime dramas and cop shows.  They cased the outside of the joint, opened the door with stealth and cunningly yelled at anyone or anything inside that they were armed and dangerous.

I hoped they wouldn’t injure each other.

We watched the beams from the flashlights as they moved from room to room, windows lighting up from within as they checked for unlocked windows, peeked under beds, climbed stairways, covered every corner of the place.

Nothing.

They emerged unscathed, with hearts pounding and laughter erupting.  You’d have thought they’d just ridden some ride at Disneyland for the first time.

They decided it had been a false alarm, or a squirrel nibbling some wiring.

“John Wayne” returned to his resting place on the mantel.  The other weapons went back into the cleaning closet.  After some tales of trepidation and goofiness, we ambled back off to bed; the doors all locked tight, the alarm reset, our fears allayed.

I didn’t sleep much that night.  I know, it’s silly, but somehow, Charlie’s Middle-aged Angels, as angelic as they are, didn’t quite settle my worries.

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

My All Time Favorite Quote From a Book or Movie

English: Ngong Hills, Kenya

Ngong Hills, Kenya (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“If I know a song of Africa, of the giraffe and the African new moon lying on her back, of the plows in the fields and the sweaty faces of the coffee pickers, does Africa know a song of me? Will the air over the plain quiver with a color that I have had on, or the children invent a game in which my name is, or the full moon throw a shadow over the gravel of the drive that was like me, or will the eagles of the Ngong Hills look out for me?”
― Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa

I often wonder in similar tones, if who I am makes any difference in the world.  Is there lastingness to my daily efforts in living, sharing, being?

I’ve always found this quote a haunting query of the value of a life. I think, perhaps, she asks the wrong question, but I’m not certain what the correct question is.

Categories: Uncategorized, Wondering | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Inadequate Gratitude

Honoring Veterans

(Photo credit: Fort Rucker)

 

It’s Gratituesday!  Today I am grateful for people who are willing and able to do things I cannot or would not do.  I’m not a brave or daring type of person.  I am continually amazed by people who are willing to go into dangerous situations and  risk their lives, or their personal health and well-being, for something outside of themselves.

 

How does someone willingly put their life out there as a potential, highly likely, sacrifice.  In a war zone, in a militarized zone, in a combat area, in a hostile environment, all those euphemisms for extremely dangerous, life-threatening places scare me beyond reason.  And yet, military personnel daily place themselves in these situations.

 

They defend freedom, they protect the innocent, they help support a fragile peace, they keep anarchy at bay, they stand between madness and hell, they offer a sense of stability in the most unstable of situations.

 

The amazing thing to me is that they do this willingly.  They volunteer!

 

They leave family and sanity, they leave friends and safety, they leave predictability and order, and they go and do whatever the situation requires.

 

I am so thankful someone has the discipline and the courage to do such things.  Grateful that they have faced such difficulties in the past, I stand in awe of these stalwart men and women.

 

How do I repay these heroes?  How do I honor the things they place on the altar?  How do I remember and reverence such acts as these perform?

 

This kind of debt seems unfathomable.

 

My gratitude seems miniscule and minor and wholly inadequate.

 

Veterans Visiting the Graves of Fallen Soldiers

Veterans Visiting the Graves of Fallen Soldiers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why My Cupboards Are Haunted

Not long ago I trekked to my favorite grocery store, this time without a curler in my hair. (That’s another story.) I had put it off for a while, because I don’t really like the task.  I do like to eat, however, and my family seems determined to have food on a regular basis, so it’s unavoidable.

I went the first thing in the morning, so I could avoid crowds, get the groceries put away and get to work on time.

Because I had put off going shopping, my list was long.  You know those odd items you run out of, the condiments, spices, a certain kind of bottled pepper for that one recipe?  This list was full of stuff like that.  Up one aisle and down the next I went, slowly filling the cart with my procrastinated needs.  I stuck to the list too, none of those impulse purchases.  Pencil in hand, I crossed off all those items.  Focused and determined to get done and get back home, I didn’t dawdle.

Finally I crossed off the last item.  I chose the self-checkout line. I’d gotten hooked on these a few years back.  I know, it’s slower if you have more than ten items, but I like the sense of independence, of being able to fill the grocery bags the way I want.  I like that I have some of the produce codes memorized. Pretty sure I secretly dreamed of  cashiering when I was a kid.

I scanned all my items, efficiently and quickly.  I was a shopper in the zone.  No coupons. I put in my frequent buyer number to get the store discounts.  Swiped my payment card.

Credit Card

Rejected.

What?

Hmmm.  I reswiped the card.  Entered my pin number.  Not approved.

I looked at the card to make sure I’m using the correct pin number with the correct card.  Yes.  I swiped the card again, selecting the credit option.  Still rejected.

I reached for my other debit card, the one from the bank, not the credit union.  Not there.  Must have given it to one of the kids to put gas in the car.  I have a twenty.  The machine asks for a cartload of money.  Dang.

Now what?

MSH was asleep after working late, so a call to his turned off cell phone wouldn’t have helped. By the time I could drive home and drive back I’d have eaten into my small window of time before work. I wouldn’t  have time to put things away. I’d be late for everything the rest of the day.

The clerk who oversees the self-checkout menagerie came over to help.  I explained my dilemma, apologized, stood there feeling stupid.  She says, no worries, they have people who can put it all back.

Defeated.

I walk out of the store empty-handed.  Not a single bag of groceries. What an odd feeling.

Resisting the temptation to give into tears in the car, I tried to think through the day ahead, put the embarrassment and frustration behind me.

I never made it back to the grocery store that week.  Sent hubby on a milk run.  Had my son pick up a couple of items once or twice.

It’d be nice to carry enough “just in case” cash, but that kind of money doesn’t float around my house too much.  And I’d be tempted to spend it somewhere else, here and there.  Does anyone even take checks anymore?  I just want efficient and easy. And reliable.

Turns out a bank error occurred while processing a direct deposit.  Who’d have known?  I guess I would have if I checked my account online before heading out to spend money.  Lesson learned, sort of.

Technology is great, except when it isn’t.

Here’s the weirdest outcome.  All those crossed off items from my failed grocery acquisition got crossed off in my head too.  I’d go to the pantry to pull out the spice I had put in my cart and it wouldn’t be there.  Oh yeah, I’d remember, not paid for.  I’d reach into the fridge for cilantro I’d just almost bought, and nothing.  That balsamic vinegar I had planned to use later in the week?  Missing, no wait, never purchased.  Salt to refill the shaker?  Nada.  Oh yeah, debit card downer.

For weeks afterwards my cupboards and pantry and fridge felt haunted.

Even to this day, months afterwards, I still find myself reaching for an item my head tells me I bought.  It went in the cart, it went through the scanner, it went into the grocery bag, and it went into my brain.  It just never went into my cupboards.

Wish I could tap into that “rememberability” with things that are really important.

Categories: Food, Humor | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

The Fluff and Fill of Life

The late afternoon sun hangs just above the tops of the trees as I sit on the front porch.   Pots and hanging baskets filled with Impatiens and petunias need watering, but I’m ignoring that for now. The air is just beginning to cool from the warmth of the afternoon.  A short break, sitting quietly out on the porch, is just what I need before the evening chores, kid’s baths and bedtime rituals begin.

I close my eyes and let my head lie back against the chair. A few stolen moments of deep breathing will be as good or better than a nap. I can feel the buzz of the day’s busy-ness still in my head, a kind of hum of steady movement through a list too long.  The sound of children playing far in the distance lends itself to a slowly spreading sense of calm. A car drives past on the next street over. Birds question each other with chirps and tweets. The neighbor’s dog tosses out a bark. I can feel myself slipping toward sleep. No worries if I do, it won’t last long.

“Mom?”

I can hear the call inside the house somewhere, probably in a back bedroom. I keep my eyes closed, keep my breathing quiet and steady. Maybe the sound will find a different outlet. I inhale deeper, let the breath out slowly.

Even though I can hear laughter, it seems as if it’s simply part of a semi-waking, half-dozing dream. When the screen door beside me protests with its squeaking and rattling, I open my eyes just slightly. I do not, however, turn my head, or speak, or move.

My two little girls stand in the doorway, the tallest of the two holding the door open. They look at each other and cover their mouths to stifle their giggles. They whisper something back and forth to each other. The screen door creaks slowly shut, the latch just catching.

I wonder sleepily what the giggling means, and peer carefully through my lashes.

My two girls hunch down at the sidewalk beside the mailbox picking dandelions from the lawn. I could expect to find a bouquet in my lap any minute now. My youngest stands with her small scrunched cluster of yellow flowers and white puff-balls. She puts her face into the bouquet, but instead of inhaling their muzzley smell, she puffs her cheeks out and blows. She watches as her little handful of treasures explodes into small white umbrellas, tiny seed pod passengers dangling below.

dandelion_2008041638

dandelion_2008041638 (Photo credit: 邪恶的正太)

My older daughter quickly follows with a breath of air and a sort of magic wand wave of the bundle of white and yellow. White wisps float away. They both laugh and each quickly gathers another handful, this time ignoring the plain yellow dandelions. They snap only the stems of white fluff. Instead of blowing on the whole handful at once, they each take a turn blowing the seed pods free from one stem at a time. From a distance a passerby would think they were blowing bubbles from a plastic jar of soapy solution.

Empty stems fall on the sidewalk as they stoop to pick more. One sends her flower heads skyward while the other chases, jumping and flailing. Their laughter bubbles over, a refreshing sound to my ears, a nice respite from their usual bickering.

Time seems to slow to a stand-still, yet the sun drops lower in the western sky, now filtering through the topmost branches of distant trees. The angle of light at this time of day brightens colors, exaggerates whites, shows off every dust mote and hovering insect.

I watch my daughters as they do a sort of slow motion ballet. The two young girls gather more handfuls of glorious white weeds and send them heavenward. They create a blizzard of fluff filled with the sound of their delight. Surely they’ll tire of this game soon, I think to myself as I observe their leaps and laughter. Instead, they take a cluster in each hand and spin in a circle, creating a swirling breeze that catches and carries the ephemeral seeds in loops and eddies.

Sunlight wafts through the scene like an added sound of joy on the breeze. Each poof of white shimmers and dances. The halo of curly blond hair on my youngest daughter glows silver as she spins and dances and smiles. My older daughter’s long brown locks capture the light and create a golden aura as she twirls and leaps and laughs.

Peace settles like shimmering star-dust on my shoulders. The music of the moment fills the air and swirls through me as these two small angels dance in a fleeting vision.

It comes to me, clearer than any revelation. Heaven is here. Heaven is now.

Categories: Joy, Memory Lane, parenting | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Not So Serious Quotes and Things to Smile About

I suppose this sign doesn’t apply to you folks in Colorado or Washington State anymore…

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

1. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -George Carlin –

2. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

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3. When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people. -Anonymous

4. “I used to be indecisive.  Now I’m not sure.” – Anonymous

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5. “What do you call a chicken crossing the road?”

“Poultry in motion.” – Laffy Taffy

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6. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katherine Hepburn

7. “There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.” – Lawrence Welk

8. “He’s all Kumbaya…”- Leanne Tilby

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9. “Have fun storming the castle.” – The Princess Bride

10. “I really can’t think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite,” – Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Tripping All Over Myself

Do you ever get in your own way?

Or does everyone else get in your way?

A little of both, maybe?

Recently I had some plans, kind of long-term stuff I’d been working on, working toward.  Then a few things started to hinder those plans.  Scheduling conflicts, the pending holidays, sleep, laundry, work, life.

Then, in the midst of all these interruptions in making my plans happen, MSH had some ideas he’d been thinking about that would involve me and my time.  I’m not talking an afternoon or an evening.  We’re talking big plans that would use a significant amount of time and effort.

Sure, I could see the wisdom in his plan.  I could admit that it wouldn’t be a waste of time to commit to doing this work he was proposing.  But where would the time and energy to do this come from?  When you add one thing to the calendar then something has to come off the calendar or get moved to another spot.

Surprise!

Surprisingly, writing in one more item on the TO-DO list does not create the extra time it will take.

My gut reaction was that my project, my plans and my life would suffer because of this new extra-large to-do item on my unending list.

The next morning, I whined and complained to my walking partner, logically expecting sympathy. Her response was not what I had anticipated.  She asked if I had any fears associated with my own plans.

Whoa.

Fears?

Hmmmmm…

Fear of failure, fear of being laughed at, fear of looking silly or stupid, fear of hurting someone, fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, fear of falling on my face.

Yeah, you could say I have a few fears about my plans.

While we walked she suggested gently, with kindness, that perhaps, there is a possibility, just maybe, I could consider the idea that, I was sabotaging myself.

A Shocking Thought

This wise woman posited not that MSH is trying to get in my way, or hinder me, but that I’m using his idea, turning it and tweaking it, until it becomes my excuse for not proceeding with my own plans, not succeeding, not facing my fears.

Ouch.

The truth can sting a little. And this one did.

Now, what am I going to do about it?

Categories: Relationships | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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