Posts Tagged With: Gratitude

Adopted by Love

Posted on January 14, 2014 by Kami
Like Aspen groves, Kathy's extended families provide support in unprecedented ways.

Aspen groves expand through an extensive root system in a colony that gives strength and vitality to every tree in the system.

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful for all the open arms, hugs, expressions of sympathy, shared tears, flowers, cards, notes, texts, messages and understanding I’ve received since Kathy passed away.

I know friends of the deceased often go unnoticed and unacknowledged, but that has definitely not been the case here. I’ve been cared for and comforted by both sides of her family and by my family, acquaintances, strangers and friends in wonderful and unexpected ways.

I’ve been included as if I were a member of her and her husband’s extended families. I should not have been surprised by all these kind relatives of Kathy, of course they’re just like her; warm, welcoming, kind, sensitive, funny, generous, perceptive, direct and filled to overflowing with love.

Every conversation with one of them, every hand or arm extended, every gesture of kindness toward me felt like her speaking, her arm, her hand, her kindness, her presence still in my life.

Just like Kathy always managed to do, they turned the situation around. Instead of me providing comfort and sympathy to them, they filled me with warmth, surrounded me with empathy and cradled my heart, gently lifting me and sending healing and strength my way.

How thankful I am for such kind people who have helped ease the sting of such a loss.

I wish them comfort and healing. I wish them moments of clarity and joy. I pray they find solace often in every day things. I hope they hear Kathy’s voice in their mind from time to time whispering words that only she would know to say to them.

I pray they occasionally hear her laughter in the wind and see her smile in the faces of the family around them. I hope they feel as much love from each other as I felt this weekend in their presence.

If that happens, I know they’ll be okay.

Categories: Cancer, Death, Family, Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Missing Words and Missing People

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday. Today I feel profound gratitude for the five years I enjoyed with my best friend Kathy. She passed away early on Friday.

A Lincoln rose, Kathy's favorite.

A Lincoln rose, Kathy’s favorite.

She was ready for it.  For her, death arrived with relief and peace and hope.

We had talked openly and frequently about death during her war years with cancer. Turns out that theory and talk didn’t prepare me for this reality.

I’ve never seen anyone with such a capacity for honesty and directness. Never one to beat around a bush, Kathy simply says what she thinks. And somehow, through charm or charisma, or that cutesy high-pitched teenage voice, she gets away with it. In fact, I’ve found myself emulating her straightforward ways and am all the better for it.

Spunky, gutsy, and get ‘er done doesn’t quite do her justice. If she set her mind to something you’d better get out of the way or pick up a hammer and get to work beside her. Determination resonates as her middle name.

Hand in hand with such spunk is her fearlessness which still dazzles me. My breath catches when I think of the countless number of times she faced a new chemo treatment, another experimental drug, another bone biopsy. Courage of astounding proportions resided in that heart of hers.

She wrapped her all around her children and her husband. Family first, family always. We talked more about her family than any other topics combined. She loves that bunch of people with every bit of herself. Literally and figuratively.

Her fierce capacity for love, listening, acceptance and caring radiated and warmed so many.

Whatever I come up with to express gratitude for her sounds so inadequate. The right words seem caught on the jagged edges of this crater left in my heart by her passing.

Unlike Kathy, I find myself woefully unprepared for her death.

This surprising onslaught of grief seems equally weighted against the laughter, joy and beauty she brought into my life for which I will be forever grateful.

Categories: Cancer, Death, Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Glass Tinted the Color of Rose

Posted on December 31, 2013 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday! What a year! Our family grew by fifty percent this year! If a business grew that much competiting companies would be making offers to buy us out. We added a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, another  son-in law, a granddaughter and a future granddaughter. Every child of ours experienced an amazing year of growth, love and forward momentum. What more could a mother ask for?

empty nest syndrome

empty nest  (Photo credit: butterfingers laura)

All that good brought with it a breathtakingly rapid emptying of the nest, which I’m still adjusting to. Mostly, it’s a good thing. What am I talking about it, it’s a wonderful thing! I must be low on oxygen now to think it’s anything but wonderful to have alone time with MSH, quiet time to write and read, parts of the house that actually stay clean and a schedule that doesn’t involve a spreadsheet and color coding.

The past three hundred sixty-four days held so much more good than bad this year. In fact, the good weighed more by far in quality and quantity than the bad. On a strictly symbolic basis, the sunny days radiated, the semi-cloudy ones still shone with brilliance, the gray days brought much-needed rain.

But I’d be lying if I pretended there hasn’t been symbolic thunder and flooding, earthquakes and tornadoes. This quote from the beginning of Dickens’ best book, A Tale of Two Cities sums up this past year honestly.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.” ~Charles Dickens

As true as that may be, today, though, this Tuesday of Gratitude, I’m focusing only on the good, the blessed, the wonderful, the hope, the light and the heavenly.

selfshooting through rose-colored glasses...

selfshooting through rose-colored glasses… (Photo credit: jmtimages)

Today I choose to look back through a window tinted the color of rose.

Tomorrow is a whole new year. What will its days and weeks bring? Hold on to your seat and keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, it’s sure looking like a doozy.

(If you haven’t had the chance to read A Tale of Two Cities, or if it’s been a while since you have read it, I’d suggest a plan in the coming months to pick up a copy, be it tangible or digital and familiarize yourself with his wisdom and words. You’ll be glad you did.)

Categories: Books, Family, Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Taking One Day at a Time

Posted on December 10, 2013 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday! I’m grateful for time with my best friend today. It felt like a “normal” day, not a month or so away from dying kind of day. We talked like it was any old kind of day, well, except for everything we talked about that isn’t like any other kind of conversation most friends get to have.

good day sunshine

good day sunshine (Photo credit: eye of einstein)

But really, it felt wonderful. It felt almost normal. She had more energy than usual. We were in sync, the world’s machinery ran smoothly for us, we laughed, we dodged crying, we felt like a couple of teenagers getting away with something.

We snuck out of the house and got some early lunch before the germ filled crowds showed up. We went to a matinée movie, sitting in a theater completely empty except for the two of us. The place as bacteria free as a person can get out in public. Her immune system appreciated it. We even talked out loud during the movie which made the day even better. No shushing involved.

I think we must have looked like two old sisters spending time together toddling about town leaning on each other, holding each other up.

I often wonder who is helping who in this relationship. Actually, there’s no wonder involved. I’m pretty certain I’m the one getting helped, being served, feeling loved and learning how to be real.

Yup, today felt great.

I’m thankful for every day I can get in with my bestie.

Categories: Cancer, Fun, Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Overflowing

Posted on November 26, 2013 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m more thankful than I’ve felt in ages. In fact, you might be surprised to hear that I fight back tears as I think over the overflowing abundance my life consists of.

Then I wonder if it comes across as bragging or something like it. That’s surely the last thing I want to communicate.

Maybe I worry about that because it’s been a year filled with amazement, miracles, blessings, luck, joy, happiness and most of the good things you could imagine life might hold for a person. It’s been an unusual year.

A normal year for me usually feels like a mountain climb above the tree line without extra oxygen and the food and water nearly gone. Throw in only gray rocks for scenery and a dark ominous sky, then add hundreds of switchbacks and no end in sight to the hardscrabble. Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but like most of you, my life isn’t a walk in the park every day.

Sure, I manage to find the hidden and the obvious good and happy things in a year like that, but that doesn’t negate the daily battle or the toll it exacts on me.

So to have experienced an unprecedented year of abundance in almost every facet of my life stuns me. I’ve included a few photos of recent beauties and wonders that might just barely begin to explain, where my words fall so pitifully short.

I only hope you find your life at least as richly filled with the joys of life as I have this past year.

From a hike with MSH
Pines and one good looking guy!
Olive fingers!
Autumn Aspens.
Lake Tahoe Sunset
Cutest baby on the planet.
The family I grew up in.
Idaho Sunset
Two inches of desert rain!
Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

November Gratitude Invitational

Posted on October 31, 2013 by Kami

 

I’ve already overbooked myself for November and we ‘re less than 24 hours into the month.

 

For instance I’ve accepted a walking challenge. This involves either several walking marathons or consistent walks every day for the entire month. Seems like a great idea since I need to get more outdoor time and exercise, so this is good. I already forgot this morning, must have something to do with sugar overload and a way too late bedtime.

 

photo-18 copy 18Also November is, once again AnClOuGaSoMo. Not familiar with this one? It’s been going on since MSH and I became a family. Seriously, he had a storage unit when we married back in the Neolithic Age.) It stands for Annual Clean Out the Garage Sometime Month. Which means I plan to clean out the garage, (yes, again already) sometime in the next 30 days. That could be scary or very cathartic. Or tragic, well, probably not really tragic. I just don’t really want to do that much work.  Maybe I’ll just shove it all out into the driveway and post a big garage sale sign. Except I despise garage sales.

 

There’s some convoluted travel plans mixed in the schedule this month, too.

 

And there’s the Thanksgiving holiday!!  A delightful holiday which involves a day of baking pies, and a separate day of cooking, and a day of recovery, and lots of shopping and cleaning ahead of time. All that for a few glorious hours of Family and Friends, noise and love bouncing off the walls, dishes piled high, dessert overload and abundant joy.

 

Otherwise, it’s simply a normal month with the usual comings and goings and dervish-like whirling.

 

I love me some November! Why? Besides all of the above reasons?

 

For me November rotates around gratitude every single day.

 

So, once again, I’m committing right here, out loud in front of everybody, that every day this month I’m going to blog or Facebook or both, something that I’m grateful for.  And I’ll still do my usual Gratituesday posts.

 

That sounds like a lot but if I’m only mentioning one thing a day and I’m not going into elaborate explanations, then I can succeed. Right?

 

At the same time I’m setting up this challenge, correct that, invitation,  I’m throwing this challenge/invitation out to anyone who’s  interested in joining me.

 

I’ve written a bit about the benefits of adding gratitude to your life on this post. If you want to see if I really know what I’m talking about or if I’m just blowing smoke, you could  join in with me. One thing a day. That’s all. Unless you want to overachieve and do three or five.

 

It doesn’t have happen publicly. You don’t have to post on Facebook or Twitter or a Blog. That’s just how I do it so I feel like I have some accountability. You can simply get out a sheet of paper or a little notebook and list your daily item that makes you smile, brings you joy, lifts your spirits, puts a zing in your step or makes your heart go purr.

 

Gratitude changes everything

Gratitude changes everything (Photo credit: symphony of love)

At the end of the month what will you have? At the very least, a list of thirty great things about your life. Or more likely, you’ll have gained a slightly changed perspective about how your life does not stink. Or even better, you’ll see life through a lens of thankfulness.

 

Think of it. If ten of us did this there’d be three hundred grateful vibes mixed up in the universe of grouchiness. If fifty of us did it there’d be fifteen hundred thankful thoughts floating about. If a hundred people joined in there’d be three thousand smiles to offset all the frowns that exist out there.

 

Don’t you want to try it? Ah, come on, say yes!

 

Say, “Today I’m thankful for _____” and fill in the blank, every day, all month-long. You can do this!

 

It can’t hurt.

 

Give it a try.

 

Two other posts I wrote that sort of tie in, that you might want to check out.

 

Related articles by other cool bloggers that show I’m not the least bit original and that this idea rocks.

 

Categories: Gratitude, Happiness | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Looking Back Instead of Forward

Posted on October 22, 2013 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful that the past is behind me. I’m glad to look back and glean what lessons I can from the life I’ve experienced thus far. There’s some doozies. There’s more than a few embarrassing if not downright shameful tales. There’s some hold my head  high “I done good” moments. Mostly, there’s me slogging through, mud stained, sweaty, not very pretty, grimacing, trying to smile, just trying to “get ‘er done.”

English: Muddy Hit

I’m not one of those people who would want to know what’s on the agenda for the future. I think I’d run screaming off the edge of the planet if I knew what’s coming.

Oh, sure, I’m certain there’s some happy times ahead. I’ve great faith in the goodness of many people. The technologic expansion and promise bodes well. But I’m a realist and I know not all is well and not all will be well. There’s crap out there among the good stuff. Always has been, always will be.

Looking back at what I’ve experienced over the past few decades I’m pretty certain that if given the choice ahead of time, with a clear view of those particular things laid out before me, I’d have probably declined the offer to move ahead.

Sure, youth think they are invincible. They envision the future as glorious and beautiful, hopeful and amazing. The don’t imagine failure, or trial or difficulty. There’s a vague cloud of the unknown but no real grasp of what death or disease, unemployment or uncertainty, debt and demands, sleeplessness and exhaustion, mental illness and poor decisions, good intentions with bad outcomes, or any one of thousands of reality’s hard knocks. It’s probably best that way.

Being jaded and angry is no way to approach a life at the beginning of it.

In fact, being jaded and angry is no way to live a life at all.

I had a year or two of that and it was not pretty.

Now I aim for grateful as much as I can. I try being honest with myself and not simply look at the world through those fabled rose-colored glasses. I honestly search for the good, the positive, the blessed moments, the glorious parts of life.

Syringe 5 with drops.

It’s not a denial of the bad stuff, more of an inoculation against it. I like to think I’m vaccinated and up to date on my shots so when the virus of hardship invades, which it surely will, I’ll be able to get through it. My faith, my hope, my cheerfulness, my experience,  will win out.

Better to learn from what’s thrown at you. Knowing when to duck, when to roll, when to tuck, when to jump, when to charge ahead, only comes from the experience of having to do those things. Practice makes perfect, is the saying, isn’t it?

I should be nearly perfect by now.

No. Never mind. I didn’t say that. I know there’s a ton of experiences in life I haven’t had the pleasure or pain of going through. I don’t want to tempt fate. Got my hands full, thankyouverymuch.

Today I’m glad to stand where I am, looking back on the path I’ve been on, happy for the temporary level spot in the path.

What a view!

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

That Tiny Button Makes All the Difference

Posted on October 8, 2013 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m thankful for the lowly belly button. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that little dimpled spot smack dab in the middle of my tummy.

Just like most buttons, the belly button serves as a connection. Or at least it did at one time. A most important point of contact, that little juncture provided all the nourishment necessary to grow a baby. And amazingly, once that connection disconnects, the baby continues to grow, although nourished and fed through varied and different means than the womb provided.

I’m astounded time and again by newborns. They arrive equipped with all the necessary components to become a full-grown adult. Everything just starts out in miniature form. I look at my six-foot something son and wonder at that miraculous transformation. He started out at a mere eight pounds and now he’s this dude, man, guy, adult who continues to amaze me with all he can do. If I hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t believe it now that I once had a part in his creation. He’s simply the tallest of my children and so elicits the most wonder at the transformation. Each of my kids sports a belly button, witness to our once most intimate and cherished relationship.

Have you ever seen a cuter belly button?

Have you ever seen a cuter belly button?

That first week or so of a baby’s life falls under the surreal category. Watching that bit of umbilical cord shrivel and shrink and eventually disconnect feels almost sacred and bittersweet. Does that seem like a strange thing to say? I find it amazing that instead of some ugly, odd scar left behind, there is instead a dimpled little pocket or a small mound, an Innie or an Outie. A reminder of one’s origins, once a literal link to the metaphorical mother ship.

I like to think the belly button is an homage to those who birthed us. Mother or birth-mother, there existed once, a primal connection. And there remains a reminder of that most precious of bonds, a token of the ultimate life force.

Does yours collect lint? Or do you keep it pristine and polished? Have you added a sparkle of jewelry to it? Do you ever consider the lowly little navel at all? I don’t very often. Since a newborn joined our flock recently I’ve thought of the reason and meaning of the belly button more often.

I laugh at that sweet, funny mark of humanity.

I marvel at the circular wonder of it all.

Categories: Family, Gratitude, Gratituesday, parenting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Particular Sweetness of This Corn on the Cob

Posted on September 3, 2013 by Kami

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m thankful for the kindness in people.

I’ve been aware of this story for a few years. My parents, who live in farming country, have a neighbor they’ve told me about. Often when I visit I’ve seen the evidence and heard the tale. This year I got the chance to meet the man. Smiling and glowing with good will, he seemed like someone you’d be honored to have as a neighbor. A solid, kindhearted soul.

Yes, Virginia there are still good, generous folks in the world.20130903-012409.jpg

Exhibit A: a corn field with a sign which identifies said corn.

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Exhibit B: a different sign next to the corn field, hand written.

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Exhibit C: close up view of the handwritten sign reads

“Sweet Corn – you pick – $3.00 dozen  – put $ in box – Thank you”

Look closer at the bottom of the sign, attached to the fence. That’s a green metal box with a slit cut it in, attached to the fence rail, for people to put their money in when they pay for the corn they pick.

You’re thinking this guy gets ripped off a bunch. Maybe. Maybe not. He lives close by the field and has a clear view of it all. Sometimes people pay. Sometimes they don’t. For the ones who don’t he says he figures they must really need it. He doesn’t begrudge them the corn or the money.

He’s watched people he knows, it’s a small town, fill a van front to back with the corn they picked and drive off without putting dime nor dollar in the cash box. He shrugs it off. He might know their story, well off or not, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll greet them the same next time he sees them, with a smile and a handshake.

Is this guy rich? Only in goodwill and generosity and kindness. The way most people in the world judge things he’s losing big time. In the ways that really count, he’s rich beyond counting.

Every year it’s the same way. His corn is for sale on the honor system.

Looks to me like he’s the one who is honorable.

20130903-004952.jpg

Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday, People | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

More Than Words

Posted on August 14, 2013 by Kami

Hey! It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m having a hard time coming up with a gratituesday. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got blessing out the wazoo. Narrowing down the gratitude to one thing befuddles me today.

Here’s some words I’ve encountered lately that have taken on added meaning. Most of them capture  my current state of mind. The words themselves seem ordinary, but the heft and weight behind the words carries me through.

Here’s one my of favorite happy words. I’ve been lucky in this area. Three brothers who’ve gone through some rough times and have emerged like rock stars!  Parents who’ve persevered and continued to love. A husband, children, grands. It’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

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I’ve seen recent examples of this word in my siblings, my dad, my mom, my children.

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This word captures how I feel when I’m around my family, or friends. Or when I’m writing. Lack of a weight to carry or illumination, either definition of Light fits my mood.

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The meat of the thing, the center, the prime motivator, the engine, the strength, where love symbolically lives.

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Got plenty of these in a variety of forms, shapes and sizes. I’m especially thankful for the three sweet “littles” in my life. Got a brand new one I get to hold in just a few hours.

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I have three of these. Each one as different as possible from the other. And yet, we find common ground in so many places. They’ve been a source of strength to me. They’ve been an example of selflessness and service over a long stretch. They keep the boat they’re on moving through whatever weather the seas and wind blow their way.

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I think this word says enough all by itself.

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What it’s all about, right? Got a ton of it in my life. Probably more than my fair share. Hoping I’m giving it as well as I’m getting it.

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More the center of things than the heart, the word mother encapsulates all that is good and beautiful and healthy in my life. I owe her everything. I’m grateful that she’s okay and getting better every day.

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Yeah, I know I started with this word. Everything would seem kind of pointless without this. So I’m extra grateful today for this one.

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And here’s someone else’s words to summarize today’s gratitude.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”—   Melody Beattie

Feasting today on a full plate and a cup overflowing!

Categories: Family, Gratitude, Gratituesday, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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